@ Ozme: "I have acquaintances who get 4 hours a year to be away for their spouse, and have to beg for that."
OMG, that is so absolutely horrible, I find it disgusting. But - it takes 2, as always. One who dishes out the shit, and a partner who accepts it.

For me, that would be a deal breaker - not being allowed to do anything on my own again. Same accounts for hubby. The more pressure one applies to me, the faster I break away from it.

What I also do not understand with such people is how they donīt get totally bored with each other. I mean, if I do something on my own (e.g. going to the movies with a friend, or going to a garden-and-house-plants-exhibition with a friend), I can tell hubby about it afterwards.
Or if he goes to some rock concert of a band he likes and that does nothing for me, he can also tell me about it afterwards, plus he met friends and had a generally great evening and comes home in a very good mood.
I think such things are vital for a relationship to work and not get boring, and I think people who do not give their partners the opportunity for things and activities on their own, only have a huge ego problem and are horribly insecure. (I see no other reason for such behaviour.)

I must also say hubby tried to be like that in the beginning of our relationship as well (the reason being that some of his former girls cheated on him). I put an end to that quickly. I said, he either would stop this, or I would end the relationship, starting now, and that I did NOT like to be in a golden cage!
He said "Yes, you do, as long as the door to the cage remains open."
I said "Yeah, right, but YOU stand in the open door of that cage, and act all hurt and angry if I dare take a step out, and that sucks!!!"
*lol*

As usual with me, I tried to find out why he acted like that, because it did not fit the impression I had about his personality. I found out, as described, that cheating ex-girlfriends were the cause. Sorry, but there is no way I will put up with dumb behaviour because of something I did NOT do MYSELF.

I also said if that was what he liked, he could also go straight ahead and forbid me to work, because if I really wanted to, I could just as well fuck some work colleague during lunchbreak in a hotel close by! (Not that I would do anything of the like, but you get my point.)

So we took it by little steps, and of course the fact that I came home after whatever activity it was (not that I have much opportunity, I had a small child at that time!), and he could check if I smelled of another guy (groans), helped, too.
Nowadays it is not a problem anymore.

See - he wants his spare time and activities, and I want the same. And I will not accept a partnership in which both donīt have the same rights (regarding work and stuff like that).

Hubby also goes to a rock-concert-weekend (3 days every year) alone, where I take care of my kid and he can relax. I like to think once we do not trust each other enough anymore to let the other go away from home for 2 or 3 days alone, we could as well end the relationship because there very obviously would be a HUGE trust issue.

I will never understand spouses who suffocate and smother their partner like that and expect them to remain with them and accept such treatment! I mean, we are grown-ups, for Godīs sake! Honest!

*remembers to breathe" OK, end of rant, thanks for listening so far.