Is being online 'chatting' whilst in a relationship cheating?

[SnickerKitten]

From Ozme: You know... just because you have a partner doesn't mean you can't have separate friends and interests.

Ouch. Seperate friends and interests are not typically hidden from the partner. I think if you have to hide something you are doing from your partner then you're hiding it NOT because the partner is wrong for their view of it, but because YOU know they'll be upset if they know you are doing it.

It's OK for me to view my husband kissing another woman (I'd rip his lips off his face and stuff them... before slowly killing him....) and it is right and proper for him to respect that and NOT kiss another woman. It's also ok that I'm ok with my husband playing sexually with another woman as long as I'm aware of it.

It's ok to have relationships of a sexual nature outside your relationship if #1 it is not an exclusive relationship and you've made it clear to your partner that you will not be monogamous or #2 you are in an exclusive relationship and your partner has given approval for you to step outside of it.

If you can't trust your partner enough to be honest with them about the things you want and need to feel fulfilled then you should NOT be with that person. You are wasting your time and theirs and robbing both of you of the satisfaction that comes from a full sharing of selves. Robbing someone of the ability to have that type of fulfillment is just outright disrespectful. It also makes the person doing the sneaking total scum.

-kitten

[MMI]

... your actions will always affect others.

Exactly right.

... if you have to hide something you are doing from your partner then you're hiding it NOT because the partner is wrong for their view of it, but because YOU know they'll be upset if they know you are doing it.

Again, exactly so.


So, you either don't do it, or you don't get caught (but there's always a risk that you will).

It also makes the person doing the sneaking total scum.

Ummmm ... Fair comment, I suppose

[Ragoczy]

So, you either don't do it, or you don't get caught (but there's always a risk that you will).

So I have to ask: Does not getting caught make it okay to do? And, if so, at what point is "not getting caught" no longer the criteria for something being okay?

[MMI]

So I have to ask: Does not getting caught make it okay to do?

No. It just means there are no consequences.


Now ... hands up people who are willing to tell their partner, Honey, I love you, but you suck at sex, so I'm cybering a slut on the internet because she makes me feel better than you do

Arria: So I see very little chance that such a cowardly person will invite trouble by admitting to wrong-doing.

That is how I feel about it - speaking as a coward.


Personally, I would still love my wife if we never had sex, and I'd hate to cause her heartache. After 36 years, it'll take more than animal lust (or the want of it) to separate us. But I'd still look for nookie elsewhere if I thought I could get away with it.

So far ... so good.

[Ragoczy]

No. It just means there are no consequences.


Now ... hands up people who are willing to tell their partner, Honey, I love you, but you suck at sex, so I'm cybering a slut on the internet because she makes me feel better than you do

Personally, I would still love my wife if we never had sex, and I'd hate to cause her heartache. After 36 yeaers, it'll take more than animal lust (or the want of it) to separate us. But I'd still look for nookie elsewhere if I thought I could get away with it.

So where's the line? Where's the thing that, even if you could guarantee there'd be no consequences to you, you still wouldn't do?

(Devil's getting his money's worth this month.)

[love2serve]

No. It just means there are no consequences.


Now ... hands up people who are willing to tell their partner, Honey, I love you, but you suck at sex, so I'm cybering a slut on the internet because she makes me feel better than you do



That is how I feel about it - speaking as a coward.


Personally, I would still love my wife if we never had sex, and I'd hate to cause her heartache. After 36 years, it'll take more than animal lust (or the want of it) to separate us. But I'd still look for nookie elsewhere if I thought I could get away with it.

So far ... so good.

have to say that most women who 'play' on this site may really object to being called a 'slut' in that context! I think most (as i do) come on here to fulfil a fantasy, to put to rest if you like a part of them which cannot be satisfied in real life. I have a fantastic relationship with my husband both in and out of bed, we know each other inside out - but the craving for a taste of this lifestyle i kept hidden until recently. After telling him about it one night (a lot if wine was consumed by me before i could do this)!!!! He has been very supportive, even trying some bondage and other stuff, which i might add he would never have done had i not 'fessed' up as someone said in an earlier reply. We now have an understanding about it, he knows i go on here and enjoys the lovemaking we have as a result of my new found online life - this may sound strange, even sick to some, but it works for us, i have never been so happy, or felt so sexually free and that has been of a huge benefit to both of us. As for my experience the other night, i have purged myself of most of the guilt i felt about it, having looked at the guys profile page again this morning, i see that he has posted again since, saying that due to his girlfriends disapproval he is leaving the site, having only been on here out of spite!!!!! How childish and sad, so, having read this i feel only pity for the poor girl, if he promised not to come on here again a few months ago and has been caught again now, what hope do they have for a happy relationship - none i would say. And in the words of someone somewhere who is very sensible 'its not my bloody problem' Sorry but thats how i feel, im not going to allow a guy who cant take his balls out of his girlfriends purse to spoil what i have going with some great guys on this site, call me irresponsible as the song goes, but after a lot of thought this is how i feel.