I think the girl was clearly out of line for berating you instead of dealing with her boyfriend directly (although I'd expect that's on the agenda as well). It always amazes me that the betrayed partner seems to be more pissed at the "other woman/man" than at the cheating spouse.

That being said, it's clear that she thought it was cheating and was upset and hurt by it -- and I think that's the measuring stick that should be used to judge if something's cheating. If he doesn't think it's cheating, then he probably shouldn't be with someone who does. I posted a lot of my thoughts on this topic in another thread: http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=17784

For those involved in online relationships with people who're keeping things from their spouse, your experience should be a cautionary tale. You had a bad experience, being berated by an angry girlfriend. Imagine if you'd had a longer, more intimate and trusted relationship with this guy -- maybe shared a few things that would identify you. Not entirely unthinkable -- a first name, a city and where you work isn't that unlikely to be shared.

Now an embittered partner who's clever enough to get his username, password and browsing history to find you here might just be pissed off enough to put some logging software ($39.95) on his PC and access his email -- suddenly this person has information about you.

"Susy who works a Best Buy in Tulsa" may not seem like a lot to go on, but pissed-off people are resourceful and will expend a lot of effort and money in their search for vengeance. Every Best Buy in Tulsa's going to get a detailed account of the online activities and escapades mailed to it -- or worse, a personal visit.