Just Venting.............

[subj]

I'm new to this lifestyle or scene? So I apologize if this doesn't come out right. I have noticed in my few couple of days online that some straight male submissive's have this notion that a dominatrix is suppose to be a model or always dolled up. I completely understand the whole leather and latex fetish. (cant forget the whole heels thing either). but what about all the average woman with dominant tendacies. The woman is a beautiful creation. add dominant tendacies and it just keeps getting better. These select submissive's and there high expectations. are forgetting they are the ones to be pleasing the dominatrix. Make her feel like the goddess she is. show her the respect she deserves. just appreciate a dominating woman they are rare, and hard to find.
*****sorry just had to get this off my chest.*****

[Ozme52]

Well... you're correct.

But not unexpected... men are just aggressive... especially the ones who "think" they're subs.

But it's not unusual from the other side either. A lot of people claim to be dominant or submissive and really aren't... and are more akin to tops and bottoms. People who like the roles but not the power exchange. (An opinion.)

[denuseri]

People are sometimes not as accepting as they should be.

Which is ironic in a community of people that are allready considered on the fringe of society to begin with.

[rsjankowski]

welcome to the community. and yes i think there is that misperception of what people want. it's possible thats it is kinda ingrained from parents and school that the people our friends and family would want their boy to be with the prom queen and that the girls are told that their handsome prince is somewhere out there. we all have that imbedded somewhere that were supposed to aim for the most beautific or most wealthy to make us happy, and in reality it's the people that aren't those that are the perfect matches for us. it's a possible explanation and may not be the right one. but at the moment it's the one i can come up with.

[DowntownAmber]

I take a lot of people's "notions" (not just those of the straight male subs mentioned in the OP) with a grain of salt on this site... The Library is, after all, a site designed not only for the sharing of information but also for the sharing of fantasy. Many come here to learn, just as many come to play. If you're here to play, by all means indulge in whatever fantasies flip your switches I say.

Sure, no Dom/me can be the airbrushed stuff of high end porn 24/7, but not everyone is looking for 24/7 reality and really just wants a great visual and a great mental escape for a few hours here and there.

[blythe spirit]

IMHO, the subbies of which the OP is speaking, have spent numerous hours online looking at actors/actresses, play the part. These people are not your "everyday" people.

What is so humorous to me is that a number of these subbies (and Doms, too) that are looking for perfection, are the ones who are overweight, out of shape, and simply unattractive; and still are of the notion they deserve "arm candy." lol

[jeanne]

What is so humorous to me is that a number of these subbies (and Doms, too) that are looking for perfection, are the ones who are overweight, out of shape, and simply unattractive; and still are of the notion they deserve "arm candy." lol

Regular TV supports that - how many sitcoms are on the air right now that have a couple consisting of the cute, slender wife who 'runs the show' in the family, and the overweight, blundering, beer-swilling goof of a husband who she loves totally anyway? Makes me shake my head.

[blythe spirit]

You're absolutely right, jeanne. I can name a dozen. Could be that there are a shortage of good men, just as there are good Dommes. lol I must say though, I am attracted to men who are oversized and tall. Guess they make my inner child feel even smaller. hehe

[jeanne]

I am attracted to men who are oversized and tall.

Me too, I've discovered. Unfortunately, I'm almost 6 feet tall, so feeling petite and fragile is not something I had any experience with...until Him. He's 5+ inches taller than me and about 100 pounds heavier and strong! He can pick me up with one hand. WOW!!!

[Ozme52]

Me too, I've discovered. Unfortunately, I'm almost 6 feet tall, so feeling petite and fragile is not something I had any experience with...until Him. He's 5+ inches taller than me and about 100 pounds heavier and strong! He can pick me up with one hand. WOW!!!

One hand? Are you sure that's not a wee exageration?

[jeanne]

One hand? Are you sure that's not a wee exageration?

I'm sure, milord!

He's just being modest...he had tied me in a tie that resulted in a 'handle' down the back...and then just reached down and lifted me. It was amazing.

[leo9]

I'm new to this lifestyle or scene? So I apologize if this doesn't come out right. I have noticed in my few couple of days online that some straight male submissive's have this notion that a dominatrix is suppose to be a model or always dolled up.

What put my late wife off being a Domme was the number of malesubs who assumed that "domination" meant she would play whatever script they came with, regardless of what she wanted to do.

Her charitable explanation was that they were used to pro-Dommes, who presumably make some effort to follow the client's script because he's paying.

[Ozme52]

I guess that's part of my mystique...

[Flaming_Redhead]

The submissive males you're referring to may not actually be submissive at all. They're typically fetish bottoms, and they do tend to objectify dominatrices. They're really not so much interested in the lady as in what she's wearing and whether or not she'll do what they want her to. It's turned me off from topping a bit since it's just another way to be used instead of actually being the one doing the using....*shrugs*

[jeanne]

The submissive males you're referring to may not actually be submissive at all. They're typically fetish bottoms, and they do tend to objectify dominatrices. They're really not so much interested in the lady as in what she's wearing and whether or not she'll do what they want her to. It's turned me off from topping a bit since it's just another way to be used instead of actually being the one doing the using....*shrugs*

That makes sense. A good way to explain the problem.

[subj]

Thanks to all who took the time to read this. It was just frustrating me the way some subs were treating the woman who were suppose to be in control or taking the time to actually show them some attentionIi just don't understand I guess. but thank you all for the opinions.