Quote Originally Posted by fetishdj View Post
You seem to have a massive problem with journalling, in such a way as I suspect some bad experience in the past. Certainly they way you talk about it suggests you do not trust any information in written form.

Not at all, you are making assumptions or misinterpeting what I have said now based solely upon what I have written....see how text can be misleading yet?

Talking face to face is great (and I am not saying it should not be done as well) but it can be an issue for some. Assuming that there is a trust issue is somewhat generalising, more often there is an issue with shyness or eloquence in spoken communication.

Which is why it should be worked upon perhaps? (learning how to communicate effectively is paramount to any relationship yes?)

Who said it was the Dominant person who may have the issue?

If they try to rely solely upon written comunication I am saying they may have an issue.

I am thinking more of the sub who may not feel as if they can be as open with their Dom/me as they would like to be in person.

If they cannot be open with the person in whom's hands they place their very life, who then can they be open with? Ahh see there is clear evidence of a trust issue perhaps.

Its sometimes hard, especially for men, especially sub men, to share thier feelings about something. It is often easier in those situations to let the Dominant one take control, subsuming their own desires for the pleasure of the Dominant. If done in a particularly subtle manner, the Dominant in question may never even notice this is going on.

Yep. But it applies to both sexes.

Now, with time and careful handling a Domme who does notice this may well be able to train a sub to speak frankly when given permission - during a face to face feedback session. However, for some this may not be possible straight away and the ability to share in a less fraught situation may be beneficial.

Sure of course...I never said they couldnt, just pointed out the pitfalls to avoid with "journeling" as the prime way of comunication.

This is another gross generalisation. Any Dominant who asks a sub to write a journal is therefore not as dominant as they think they are?

Not what I said...again it appears as if written communication is leaving to much to error huh?

Everything discussed here is a tool which can be used. Face to face communication, journalling, e-mails, mobile phones etc are all means of communication which any Dominant may choose to use or ignore as they wish. It all depends on the needs of the relationship at a particular time. As the relationship grows, some tools may be needed less and less while others may find more use. Some relationships may work perfectly without the need for written communication whereas others may require more work. You could argue that couples who are the former are maybe better suited to each other but I am not sure this is necessarily the case. In my experience, every relationship needs work and this work is made easier by some of the tools available.

Yep.



No, they are writing something deeply personal which they hope will allow someone special to them access to thier deeper thoughts.

Maby, maby not.

I don't write anything personal or deep in my diary because I know my own mind and do not feel the need to record any of it for my own personal recollection. I record it so others may read it and hopefully know me better.

So you say,,,,thats you I hope it works well for you.


The majority of this sort of talk takes place immediately after the event. 'How was it for you?' is probably one of the most common questions asked, the reason why it is a cliche...

It doesnt have to, it can also take place at some other time.

There is always room for self delusion but this applies to any form of communication. But if you forget emotions and feelings for a moment and look merely at practical stuff, is it not useful for a Dominant to have something they can review to see how well particular types of play worked? Ok, they may get this from the sub verbally but will they get it in a form which they can remember all the details of (unless they sit and take notes)? Will the sub necessarily remember all the details such as 'the strap on my crotch was digging in too much, it was distracting' so that the Domme can remember to adjust that strap next time? This is all about improvement and development - two things no Dominant nor sub should be able to say they are not in need of.[/QUOTE]

If the strap digging in was what was really important to the person I am sure they would remember it. That goes for the rest as well. Sure if the dominant wishes to record it they can thats their perogative...I was just pointing out what to avoid and apparently by the way you and others have reacted...proved my own point as to the effectivness ( or lack there of) of written communication.