Quote Originally Posted by denuseri View Post
Who said anything about a conversation having to be about "emotions" per say, or "intense" :the dominant partner should be quite capable of directing the conversation anyway if they are affriad of open and honest communication or "uncomfortable" about a paticular topic for whatever reason...especially a conversation with someone who they hold dominion over...if they cant talk to the person they hold at their mercy how the heck will they be able to talk to anyone else.

Of course if thats the case...the dominant may not be so dominant when it comes to self control and self confidence etc then..and hence may not be as dominant a they think they are.
I'm sorry, but to me dominance is more than simply forcing a person into having a conversation (or doing anything) that they don't want to. I can talk until I'm exhausted, but unless he responds honestly, it's pointless. And you can't force a person to feel comfortable by ordering them to; that is the kind of situation that has to be approached delicately and on their terms until you're able to guide them to the point you wish them to be at.

For my little one, speaking his emotions or thoughts verbally is a terrifying thing. Me simply ordering him to not be afraid isn't going to work. You only dominate a person as far as they are willing to submit, and you never actually control someone else; they are choosing to submit to you. So I feel it is my job, as his domme, to help him find the root of the issue and to guide him in the direction I want with patience, pushing him just to the edge of where he wants to go, which is in this case, speaking his mind honestly even if he thinks I might not like what he has to say.

At no point am I asking him to make any decisions, either. I just need all of the information in order to make the proper decision, and his thoughts and feelings are part of the information that I need. That doesn't mean he gets to make any choices about what happens; it just means that if we're doing something he doesn't like, I want to know that (like how I know he hates to visit my mother, but he's not getting out of that one, ever).