Finding that fine balance

[denuseri]

I think the problem here is that she wants to please him as well as him pleasing her but suspects he is not getting as much out of the relationship as she is and that concerns her. He may enjoy submission but if his submission comes at a cost where he loses his sexual pleasure as a result?

Then they should sit down and talk about it in a feedback session.

The point of journalling is that some subs feel more confident expressing themselves in writing than they are verbally.

So what? They can't go through their life "journeling" everything to communicate effectively so why should one think that it will solve anything, especially when written communication lacks the other 90% of information human beings exchange when they talk to each other face to face...it's pretty obvious to me that a miscommunication or trust issue is involved when "journeling" is sought as a solution to a communication issue or problem.

You are clearly more confident in verbal communication (many women are, especially when it comes to talking about feelings) but many men don't like entering into an intense conversation about emotions because it is a battle they never win (and, yes, I know it is not a battle, at least not to a woman's PoV but it is endemic in the male psyche to see everything as a challenge and things which threaten to burst thier ego should be avoided).

Who said anything about a conversation having to be about "emotions" per say, or "intense" :the dominant partner should be quite capable of directing the conversation anyway if they are affriad of open and honest communication or "uncomfortable" about a paticular topic for whatever reason...especially a conversation with someone who they hold dominion over...if they cant talk to the person they hold at their mercy how the heck will they be able to talk to anyone else.

Of course if thats the case...the dominant may not be so dominant when it comes to self control and self confidence etc then..and hence may not be as dominant a they think they are.

So, sometimes, a written journal can be beneficial because it allows more honest and open sharing of feelings.

Quite the opposite in fact. Its not like the submissive is writting in a diary that they know no one is going to read.

Also, you can get a deeper level of reflection and consideration when you write about something a short while after it is done than you can talking about it immediately and the Dom/me who reads the journal has more time to consider and reflect on it.

No one said anyone had to speak about anything imedieately after or that the dominant would have to respond to anything imedieately.

Plus, an added side effect, the sub has a physical record of their development as a sub and the Dom/me has a record of their development as a Dom/me (both in thier own journals and those of their subs). You can go back and look at previous entries and see a definite change in attitudes and practise.

One can see anything they think they want to see when reading such things too.