Ok i will bare my soul on this one cause this sounds serious enough to do so.i will start out saying i have allways been a dom and didnt relise it.so now lets talk about my relationship my health my life the allmost failure of my marrage and the saving of it lol.i was in a bad relationship and got out of it at the time i was in a gaming clan playing unreal tournament and such.my now wife was a fellow member and had known each other for about a year or so no romantic involvement.We were bothing going through a big pile of shit we both had created for ourselves in our relationships. Both of our relationships came to an end around the same time.We both relised that we had an intrest in eachother cause we would talk to eachother about how shitty our relationships were.I took the first step and told her that i had feelings for her so we decided to meet in person which involved airlines and vacation time. i was living in florida she in cali.So i picked thanksgiving week which was like crazy i had too meet her whole family and there was some anxioty about meeting her dad and such (i am 10 years older than she)but anyways sparks flew and we were in love.She is a very intelligent strong independent woman and a feminist so i went vanilla for fear of scaring her.plus i did not think she was a sub because of her being a feminist and such.i considered her my equal so i treated her as such.not that i treat her bad now its i did not think she was into the d/s thing.we got married and everything was going good.then i went for a full check up at the doctor and got bad news doc heard a heart mumor though it might be a sloppy vaulve so went and saw a cardiologist and turn out i have a rare and very deadly heart condition.So as you can imagine that is a big blow to take but there is more.I had a funny hormone reading on a blood test that could be a sign of a tumour on the pitutatary gland....and of course it was....not cancer but its therewhile all of this was going on ohh i didnt mention this i have a daughter with my previous bitch and that is not a term of enderment but my daughter was out of control i am 3000 miles away and could do little or nothing she attempted suicide while on the phone with me so i had to call the local cops and get them there ect....so they save her take her too be taken care of ect....while there her mom gets her to say and i dont know how that i was abusive towards her and files a huge report about how i abused her beat her all kinds of bullshit.So i get a letter from that police dept.most of it wwas to have taken place over 10 years before so they cant do anything even if i did do it but they have to investigate it so i call them and tell them its bs pure and simple.Now her mom is all over me calling me all the time ect....i go to my local police a freind of the family is the head of the child abuse unit and i tell him the situtation and he advises me to get a lawyer and to break all contct with them both.so i do so.with my health and basically having to cut my daughter off i went into a serious depression.i stopped wanting sex i became really withdrawn.my whole life i have had trouble with depression but this was alot to deal with.my relationship with my wife was sprialing out of control.we both are the best of friends but i was in so much pain that i lost sight of whats important in life.i kept sliding down and down but i would have some ups that would be short lived.It got to the point where we were pretty much roomates.one day i happened to be home we were watching montel or someone and they were talking about bi-polarism depression i had like all the signs but we kinda poo pooed it off. mean while i am sinking further and further down thinking about suicide feeling worthless feeling like no one should love me feeling not good enough to be with my wife.My wife finally snapped and had had enough she threaten to leave if i didnt see the doctor so i made an appointment.the appointment was like in 2 weeks its alot of time to wait but its that way when you have a good doc.3 days before the appointment my wife brokedown she wanted it to be over she gave me my ring back and left...now i had pretty much hit rock bottom during the week cause i had started expressing how i felt to her all my feelinga i hid how depressed how i felt suicidal ( i can remember one day i dont know what set it off but i just happened to see one of my guns laying around and the urge was so strong to pick it up and end it it scared the shit out of me) well ill admit when she left i allmost did it again but had another plan that involved righting some wrongs in my life......i was packing up enough of my shit too look like i was leaving....all i was really interested in was my guns and ammo and getting addresses and such to carry out my plans(i know all this is really scarey but i want you to understand it) her dad heard about what was going on and came and talked to me while i was "packing" he stopped and taslked to me like i was his son he treated me like i was his son he broke down infront of me which was hard for me to see her dad has to be the toughest man i have met in my life.He gave me some advise and told me to fight for what i wanted to be honest to not run away and take the cowards way out and to not make rash decisions.so i sat and thought and called my wife.she came back home and we talk alittle but both of us where kinda exausted and she had to go to work but she wanted to know what i would do to "fix" us and told me that when she got home she wanted to know.So i sat and thought about it got out some paper and thought about what all i needed to do i ended up with 5 pages of shit i needed to do and stuff i needed from her.when she got home i read it all to her i wont go into details unless you really want to know.She agreed with me on all of it.then she told me that she had been dening herself on some things.she told me that she had been putting alot of pressure on me to "fix" things without telling me the problems.She told me that she was interested in the d/s lifestyle and wanted to be submissive to me to have me punish her and to be called dirty names and such.I will admit i was in shock in a way,but my cock was hard is all i know...so that night we had alot of fun and experimented.the next day was the doctors appointment told them i wanted treatment for depression the gave me 3 questionares to fill out.they showed i had alot of depression and anxioty. He dianosed me with bi-polar disorder.which head shrinker agreed with so i started taking meds for it..but in the mean time my wife and i are like newly weds my cock is either in her cunt ass or mounth on a daily basis or all or several times a day hehe....we have developed an honest and open policy we dont hide our hidden little things we share what we want sexually and such and discuss weather or not we are comfortible with it.we have yet to find our limits but we do have some rules.we both take our marrage vowes seriuosly but have discussed bringing others in (a woman) but we are not at that point yet we are enjoying eachother too much right now.alot of this story could have been avoided if we both would have been honest and tried to be something we both were not,but as you can see life can knock you down its how you pick yourself up and carry on that counts