misunderstood

[lily27]

misunderstood

wild
that girl,
running around
all over the place

out of control,
she is,
will anyone
be able to tame her

loud,
her voice
so joyous
from accross the room

but her eyes
are so sad,
her heart
bruised and broken,
her mind
filled with questions

they don't know,
she believes...
who i am
what i can be

until Him,
now she's found
finally home,
finally free

[Timberwolf]

*hugs*

Thank you for sharing more of yourself with us. I'm glad you're writing again.

[Echoes]

I absolutely loved and understood...felt this lily. May I make one tiny suggestion? Perhaps place a few commas...the first time I read through it, I had to stop a few times to ascertain where the pauses should be. Once this was figured out the last time I read it through, your poem was exquisite as you are.

wild,
that girl
running around
all over the place

out of control
she is,
will anyone
be able to tame her

loud,
her voice
so joyous
from across the room

but her eyes
are so sad,
her heart
bruised and broken,
her mind
filled with questions

they don't know,
she believes...
who i am,
what i can be

until Him,
now she's found
finally home
finally free

I do hope you dont mind me suggesting this at all. Read the two and see if you feel or sense a difference and decide yourself hon.
soft hugs
~echoes~

[lily27]

Echoes, I loved your suggestion so much I went back and edited.

I am always open to (constructive) criticism. Thank you for taking the time to provide it.

[Echoes]

Echoes, I loved your suggestion so much I went back and edited.

I am always open to (constructive) criticism. Thank you for taking the time to provide it.

you are welcome lily and thank you...psst any more marshmellows?

Mack_Bolan, as you are the inspiration...you both are very talented and special together. (not sure if that is coming out as I mean it, but it is to compliment both of you with sincerity)

[Mack_Bolan{lily}]

Very talented this girl of mine. Thank you lily.

[TheDeSade]

Lily, quite the talented little thing you are. M_B you should be proud

[moptop]

lily - lovely. The sense of not belonging, the deep calm of finding your rightful place, and suddenly everything fits... strikes a chord for many of us, I think, even if we havn't found that place (person) yet.

So happy for you (& M_B, just I don't know him)

[Leigh]

beautiful Lily thank you so much for sharing your poem...