How do you convince a Dom...

[mina]

to do something they don’t want to do? One of my biggest sexual fantasies involving roleplaying (besides Beauty and the Beast) is Lestat/Claudia from The Vampire Chronicles. It’s not enough to just use imagination, I really want the costumes. I love the way costumes make me feel when we’re rping. For the child vampire Claudia, I want a really elegant Victorian-style dress... the fact that it’s expensive and fancy makes it more exciting as it’s torn off. And he would make THE perfect Lestat. Okay so they’re pretty different personality-wise, but they’re both French and he already has a fetish for drinking blood. The problem? He refuses to do this because Lestat is “a fag.” Sorry if this offends anyone, that’s only his opinion. In the books Lestat is kind of bisexual, so for him that equates “homosexual”. It’s such a stupid reason, but I just can’t change his mind! What should I do? I suggested he could be another vampire, but he won’t buy me the Claudia outfit because he knows I’ll just imagine him as Lestat anyway. Anyone have any suggestions? I reaaally want to do this.

[Tojo]

If he cares for you, he'll do it Mina.

All you can do is ask nicely. Good luck.

Tojo

[Silke]

He really wants to miss out on one of your hottest fantasies that REALLY gets you going, probably will lead to you melting between his hands...just because his homophobia? *giggles* Sounds kinda stupid to me. He only has to act AS IF, doesn't have to buy into the whole story even.

That's how I'd sell it *grins*...let him know the positive sides, make them salient, really paint them out in bright colours and show him that your focus is not on what he fears/dislikes. If he's smart he'll sell it to you on his terms in the end.

But hey, I've never tried it with a Dom...so I have NO clue as to how it'd work, lol. Good luck and have fun trying!

[Ruby]

Mina,

You live in Las Vegas...take the man shoppping. Try on the outfit or three. Make his blood boil!

I recommend The Bad Attitude Boutique -
The Corset Store at http://www.BadAttitude.com
and it's next to
"Lady C" Leather at http://www.ladycleather.com
Nevada's premier fetish company specializing in leather goods. Their in the same strip mall off of West Sahara.

Visiting the store in person is more fun than the website, but the website will give you an idea of some of their clothes and accessories. And they have lots of cool victorian and goth outfits. Plenty for the both of you to try one.

Right next door, you can get shoes. Next door to that, more leather toys. And next door to that, they have a showgirls / guys costume shop.

Did I mention I could spend hours at that little strip mall?

As a friend of mine says,
"First you tell your partner what you want to do,
then show him how easily it can be done.
When he "comes up" with the idea,
you tell him your so glad he thought of it
and enjoy the outcome.

Have fun and good luck with more strategies.

Ruby

PS

You could always play the innocent and not yet marriend Mina to his very manly Dracula. ;-)

[fantassy]

You could always play the innocent and not yet marriend Mina to his very manly Dracula. ;-)

That was going to be my suggestion. Mina's costume is still an elegant victorian gown. - mmm, I may have to watch my favorite Dracula movie with Frank Langella tonight. He was HOT!

fantassy

[_ID_]

As far as how to change his views about how he would feel portraying a role that in the story the person is bisexual? That would take some education, getting to know a gay couple, and enjoying them as people in a nonsexual eviroment such as card games or something where the sexuality is very subdued. Then after he is comfortable around them, seeing them in a more open setting such as a gay bar with you at his side, so that he doesnt feel as though he is there to be hit on.

Getting him to enjoy doing something like ripping your dress off you, try that kind of play without the whole scene included. Without the repeating of lines, or events in the scene. Then gradualy include elements.

[mina]

He really wants to miss out on one of your hottest fantasies that REALLY gets you going, probably will lead to you melting between his hands...just because his homophobia? *giggles* Sounds kinda stupid to me. He only has to act AS IF, doesn't have to buy into the whole story even.

I so agree! His homophobia can be very annoying sometimes, though it’s perfectly understandable why he's like that (which I’m not going to explain). I tried to tell him that his Lestat would be very straight lol. Didn’t work though =(

That's how I'd sell it *grins*...let him know the positive sides, make them salient, really paint them out in bright colours and show him that your focus is not on what he fears/dislikes. If he's smart he'll sell it to you on his terms in the end.

I guess I could be more clear on all the positive aspects of it... thanks for the advice <3

You live in Las Vegas...take the man shoppping. Try on the outfit or three. Make his blood boil!

I recommend The Bad Attitude Boutique -
The Corset Store at http://www.BadAttitude.com
and it's next to
"Lady C" Leather at http://www.ladycleather.com
Nevada's premier fetish company specializing in leather goods. Their in the same strip mall off of West Sahara.

Wow thanks for the links!! I checked both those websites and loved what I saw. He loves to take me shopping so we’ll have to go to those places! I have no idea why we haven’t been there before. Sounds like someone's made more than one trip to Vegas

You could always play the innocent and not yet marriend Mina to his very manly Dracula. ;-)

That could be fun (and I’m sure he’d prefer Dracula) but I still want to do Claudia and have cute curly hair and be a young child. And I think he knows if he were to be ANY vampire that I’d still imagine it was Lestat lol. He just... is Lestat, I don’t care what he says!

As far as how to change his views about how he would feel portraying a role that in the story the person is bisexual? That would take some education, getting to know a gay couple, and enjoying them as people in a nonsexual eviroment such as card games or something where the sexuality is very subdued. Then after he is comfortable around them, seeing them in a more open setting such as a gay bar with you at his side, so that he doesnt feel as though he is there to be hit on.

Getting him to enjoy doing something like ripping your dress off you, try that kind of play without the whole scene included. Without the repeating of lines, or events in the scene. Then gradualy include elements.

Just to clarify, if he were to be that character his version would be completely straight. But that’s still good advice for working on his homophobia... He needs to meet a really nice gay person or something like you said. Oh and he does already like ripping clothes off me, hehe. I just want the Victorian dress to be what he messes up and rips off next!

Thanks for the replies & advice everyone!

[Ruby]

Sounds like someone's made more than one trip to Vegas

Many more than one. LOL
And when I'm on a shopping mission, like seeking out fun costumes for book covers, erotic photo shoots or buying just the right sexy shoes, look out!

Did I mention the shoe store has a dancer's pole, so you can tease him while shopping there, too?

Oh and he does already like ripping clothes off me, hehe. I just want the Victorian dress to be what he messes up and rips off next!

Sounds like a great idea.

Please let me know how the shopping adventure goes and if you find an outfit or three for him to ravish you in.

Good luck!

[Uncle_Ed]

Mina,

From your posts here I can see you enjoy writing-so write him a story of the scene you want to play out. Make it REALLY descriptive and include all your feelings in as much detail as possible-make the idea irresistable! Include things you know HE enjoys.
I've tried it with my wife and came up with "A story for a rainy day" posted in the library. I wrote it in a style that I knew would appeal to her.
A pity she went and had an accident and broke her foot...

[Tojo]

Yeah that's a good point Uncle Ed makes. You do have a flair for writing, Mina. I'm normally better at coming up with ideas, but a bit preoccupied atm.

I love to write stuff out for my girls, & I know they love to read it...

Let's hope someday katie finds out what happens to that bound maiden...

Tojo

[Ruby]

Let's hope someday katie finds out what happens to that bound maiden...

You big tease! Now we all want to know what happens.

Meanwhile, back on track, great idea Uncle Ed.
Nat and I had a great time writing our little rp tale,
before we got side tracked.

Mina, I bet you'd make an excellent writer of erotica.

[katie_21]

Tojo, since I'm sick and all...maybe you should write another chapter for me, ya know....to make me feel better lol

[Tojo]

Tojo, since I'm sick and all...maybe you should write another chapter for me, ya know....to make me feel better lol

Oh you're so naughty! Goodness me- if you're not careful I'll come back with a bottle of baby oil to make that leather all slippery.
How's that for a tease Ruby?

Now Mina- can you see how to convince a Dom to do what you want? Be cute!

Tojo

[katie_21]

If he cares for you, he'll do it Mina.

All you can do is ask nicely. Good luck.

Tojo

Very interesting choice of words there Tojo....


So if you care about me, you'll finish my story?? lol

[Blue_Monday]

Yup, Katie knows how to work it... ;-)

But if the opportunity to rip your clothes off and drink your blood doesn't change his mind, he must be a tough nut to crack. :-) I would refer to a recent Time Out Chicago column tidbit: "Let her fuck whomever she wants, as long as she does it with you!" (I'm paraphrasing)

Great advice from everyone. The shopping and writing will be fun, even if you don't get your Lestat!

[Tojo]

Very interesting choice of words there Tojo....


So if you care about me, you'll finish my story?? lol

Maybe someday.

Tojo

[mina]

Too lazy to use quotes this time.

Ruby - Shopping for costumes for book covers and photo shoots sounds like fun! You have an interesting life it sounds like. I'm not sure if he'd let me use the pole at the store though lol well maybe, but not if any other men were there. I'll definitely let you know if we go to those stores - have to lose some weight first though!

Ed - The writing is a great idea! I just don't know if I'd have the courage to do it. I do love writing poetry and the occasional silly short story, but I don't know if I could write erotic stuff, much less show him! It's embarrassing enough to show him my regular writing. Still, that's a good idea. I'll think about it. Gracias.

Tojo - Thanks for the writing compliment. I think you should finish that story for katie!

Ruby (again lol) - You and him wrote one together? Sounds awesome. I'm not sure if I'd be any good at writing erotica. I've had a lot of experiences I could write about, but I feel weird when I try to write anything like that. Maybe I could give it another try though.

Blue_Monday - He rips off my clothes and drinks my blood anyway, heh. And yes, everyone has given great advice. I think he's close to giving in though... the last time I asked him (which was today) he didn't exactly say no. He just interrupted me by doing something... something that actually reminded me of a scene between Lestat and his mom in the books. Hmm lol.

Actually... I think I will try writing something for him to show him what I want and how fun it could be. And to show him that Lestat is manly lol. Thanks everyone! Wish me luck.

[Uncle_Ed]

GOOD LUCK!

Ed

[Ruby]

Good luck!

Mina,

Here's a link to the story we started awhile ago.
Busy schedules have kept us from further writings, but we paused it in a good place.

http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=3882

[Putnamcocpl]

I recognise the character you are drawn to is directly from the book..

However since we do live in a POP culture society, what if you pointed him to the Tom Cruise role in "Interview" as I recall, there werent any overt bisexual overtones, unless biting Louie counts. (Plus we know, Tom is worried about how he is imagined, right?) If this is the case, Ole Drac biting any number of guys..Harker, Renfield, the whole ship worth of crew.. would make him rather , well, gay, right?

And while I know its not the same era as with Claudia, The Lestat protrayed in later film "Queen of the Damned" has no overtones,Does he?

Maybe a trip to Blockbuster and a few "see, I told you" comments might start to chenge his mind

[mina]

I recognise the character you are drawn to is directly from the book..

However since we do live in a POP culture society, what if you pointed him to the Tom Cruise role in "Interview" as I recall, there werent any overt bisexual overtones, unless biting Louie counts. (Plus we know, Tom is worried about how he is imagined, right?) If this is the case, Ole Drac biting any number of guys..Harker, Renfield, the whole ship worth of crew.. would make him rather , well, gay, right?

And while I know its not the same era as with Claudia, The Lestat protrayed in later film "Queen of the Damned" has no overtones,Does he?

Maybe a trip to Blockbuster and a few "see, I told you" comments might start to chenge his mind

Hey thanks for the reply. We own both of those movies. He thinks Tom Cruise is gay too lol. And you're right, the Lestat in QotD is very straight...that's more of the Lestat I want him to be like anyway. And actually I just thought of another way to convince him thanks to you...

[mina]

Quick update: The writing worked! I hadn't even finished writing it but he read what I had so far and he said alright! Yay ^^ Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

[Ruby]

Whoo hoo! Congratulations!

Let the shopping begin. :-)

[Tojo]

We may give you ideas Mina, but you're the one that carries them out.

Go for it.

Tojo