i don't get to see my Master very often, especially during the summer. It's so hard, it feels like my thoughts are all just running wild, and i do things that i never want to do, because i know they'll disappoint Him.

The things i am talking about include self harm and just general things that i know he wouldn't like. i hate it, i just find myself doing them and not being able to stop. i need him and he's not there.

i need some help from anyone who can offer it. How can i get over this and just be good, without having to be on a short leash all the time?

As i said, ANY help would be very much appreciated.