Hi all,

Over the last 9 months I've become involved with a former friend from university in an online BDSM relationship. It started with me just helping her to recognise the impulses she had for BDSM and helping her understand they were not something to be ashamed of, but has escalated over the months.
We're both switches so the dom/sub dynamic twists and turns between conversations (sometimes even between sentences!).
The problem is that I'm involved in another (entirely vanilla) relationship, which I was not in when we first started talking but which has subsequently become quite serious. She is also in a long-term relationship.
Between the two of us we have both explored new areas of our sexuality that would have otherwise lain repressed and are both happier for it.
However, we've both told ourselves that our bondage relationship is on some other level to our normal relationships, but I don't know how much truth there is to this idea.
Does anyone here believe you can explore one side of your sexuality online without it being an affront to the sexuality of your r/l partner?