A difficult situation

[Kadence]

I was recently collared by the best Master ever. He is caring, kind, understanding - and also strict, unforgiving and demanding; everything I could pretty much ask for in a Master. However, our relationship is strictly online, and obstructed by a timezone difference - we are six hours apart. I am also unwilling to take photographic evidence of the tasks I perform for Him (although He is amazingly sympathetic and understanding about my reluctance - that I don't want such images to resurface and potentially damage me in the future; I am fairly young, and although I doubt He'd ever use anything I sent Him against me, I am still paranoid).

My worries are that He'll lose interest in me simply because He can no doubt find more open submissives, who are willing to cater to His (natually) male wants: visuals. I have sent Him numerous pictures of myself, but nothing sexually explicit. I don't want to lose this relationship, but I also don't want to compromise my own wishes in trying to appease Him. I have a number of ideas in the pipeline to keep Him interested (videos of myself doing non-sexual things, for example), but I am worried this might not last for the long term.

I'm hoping this community, being so incredibly understanding and helpful towards subs like myself, might be able to offer some advice. Have there been any subs/doms here in a similar situation? How did you keep your relationship fresh and engaging? Am I being ridiculous in worrying about my personal image, even with a Master I think I can trust?

Any input you guys could give me would be most appreciated. Thank you!

[Ragoczy]

Pictures surfacing years later can be a problem, no doubt. Even with someone you trust, many a someone's been surprised by what that trusted person did with a video or photo years later after the relationship ended. Or what someone who shares that computer does with them. Or what someone who recovers them off an old, discarded hard drive does with them. Sometimes, Paranoia is your friend.

What if you crop or blur the photo so your face is not recognizable?

[Kadence]

Pictures surfacing years later can be a problem, no doubt. Even with someone you trust, many a someone's been surprised by what that trusted person did with a video or photo years later after the relationship ended. Or what someone who shares that computer does with them. Or what someone who recovers them off an old, discarded hard drive does with them. Sometimes, Paranoia is your friend.

What if you crop or blur the photo so your face is not recognizable?

That's a good idea. Actually, my Master hasn't pressured me much at all for a picture of me (including my face) performing something sexual. But I'm worried that one thing will lead to the next, and the next... it's just a snowball...

[manda]

I agree with you -no matter how much you trust someone -there is always a chance of pictures falling into the wrong hands. How about using headsets -so he can hear your tasks and play. This is something that has worked for me.

[cadence]

My worries are that He'll lose interest in me simply because He can no doubt find more open submissives, who are willing to cater to His (natually) male wants: visuals. I have sent Him numerous pictures of myself, but nothing sexually explicit. I don't want to lose this relationship, but I also don't want to compromise my own wishes in trying to appease Him. I have a number of ideas in the pipeline to keep Him interested (videos of myself doing non-sexual things, for example), but I am worried this might not last for the long term.

First of all, don't think you have to do things just to appease him in the hopes he won't leave.
It's not a good thing to think that way. You shouldn't have to compromise yourself for another.
I personally have the same problem as well. Since I am not able to have a physical relationship at the moment, I constantly worry that I will not have enough to offer him and he will eventually lose interest.
I was called out on it once, and was told that if I didn't already know where my place was, maybe it wasn't my place at all to begin with.

So no amount of advice will really solve what you worry about the most. It is up to you to determine how comfortable and safe you feel in your own relationship.
Keep doing what you are doing, but don't think that you are a commodity that can be discarded at any time.
Have you discussed this with your Dominant? It is important that you do because you will be able to alleviate those fears you have and you will be able to enjoy yourself more without having to worry about pushing your own boundries.

[meeker]

Easy solution....work on the trust in your relationship on both parties .....and sounds like it means alot to you....kinda like a hard limit...hint hint.Between trust,respect and compromises,things have their own way of working out best for each relationhip.Every person every relationship is special and no one on the outside can make the final decision on what works best for you.Talk,trust etc in the relationship is key to yall's relationship.Only you know whats best (and him) for the better and happiness for the both of you...

[hopperboo]

I was recently collared by the best Master ever. He is caring, kind, understanding - and also strict, unforgiving and demanding; everything I could pretty much ask for in a Master. However, our relationship is strictly online, and obstructed by a timezone difference - we are six hours apart. I am also unwilling to take photographic evidence of the tasks I perform for Him (although He is amazingly sympathetic and understanding about my reluctance - that I don't want such images to resurface and potentially damage me in the future; I am fairly young, and although I doubt He'd ever use anything I sent Him against me, I am still paranoid).

My worries are that He'll lose interest in me simply because He can no doubt find more open submissives, who are willing to cater to His (natually) male wants: visuals. I have sent Him numerous pictures of myself, but nothing sexually explicit. I don't want to lose this relationship, but I also don't want to compromise my own wishes in trying to appease Him.

I don't really have any advice for you, relationship wise with your master, I just wanted to say KUDOS for being safe and thinking of the future.

I also tend to be very paranoid and worrisome, and I think it's a VERY healthy thing (especially online) these days.

Good for you!!!

[Rachie]

I'm hoping this community, being so incredibly understanding and helpful towards subs like myself, might be able to offer some advice. Have there been any subs/doms here in a similar situation? How did you keep your relationship fresh and engaging? Am I being ridiculous in worrying about my personal image, even with a Master I think I can trust?

Any input you guys could give me would be most appreciated. Thank you!

Okay I'm going to be the bad one around here I suppose. You aren't comfy sending photos, then don't send photos. I spend 8 years pulling photos and videos of me down off the internet, because one of my previous Masters decided to post them all over the place.

I do not send photo's on line, not cropped, not blurred, not nothing. No Pictures, No web cams, no nothing. If I want someone to see me, I meet them. If I'm serious about knowing them, I'm going to want to meet them anyway. On line only submission isn't for me. While I can understand this medium being good for someone for a while, it can no way compare to the feel of his hands on your body.

No you aren't insane for worrying about her personal image, If you aren't worried about it, no one else will be either. being submissive does not negate your personal responsibility.

I can't help with how to keep things fresh and new that happen all by itself in most relationships.

[GearJammer]

I was recently collared by the best Master ever. He is caring, kind, understanding - and also strict, unforgiving and demanding; everything I could pretty much ask for in a Master. However, our relationship is strictly online, and obstructed by a timezone difference - we are six hours apart. I am also unwilling to take photographic evidence of the tasks I perform for Him (although He is amazingly sympathetic and understanding about my reluctance - that I don't want such images to resurface and potentially damage me in the future; I am fairly young, and although I doubt He'd ever use anything I sent Him against me, I am still paranoid).

My worries are that He'll lose interest in me simply because He can no doubt find more open submissives, who are willing to cater to His (natually) male wants: visuals. I have sent Him numerous pictures of myself, but nothing sexually explicit. I don't want to lose this relationship, but I also don't want to compromise my own wishes in trying to appease Him. I have a number of ideas in the pipeline to keep Him interested (videos of myself doing non-sexual things, for example), but I am worried this might not last for the long term.

I'm hoping this community, being so incredibly understanding and helpful towards subs like myself, might be able to offer some advice. Have there been any subs/doms here in a similar situation? How did you keep your relationship fresh and engaging? Am I being ridiculous in worrying about my personal image, even with a Master I think I can trust?

Any input you guys could give me would be most appreciated. Thank you!

You are worried about losing this good thing or this good Master. OK. If this is a good thing and/or he is a good Master, then you won't lose it over ensuring your safety since he is not there to ensure it for you ("there" meaning you can touch him, not "there on the net"). If you do lose it, then it wasn't that good thing or he wasn't that good Master.

That sounds WAY over simplified, I know. Believe me, this is one time that simple says it all.

Enjoy what you have for now.

Watch it to see where it grows.

Look at it in terms of what it is today, not in terms of what the worst thing is that it might become in the future. I remember my father teaching me how to ride a bicycle when I was about 5 or 6. "You're gonna go where you are looking, son, whether you want to or not, so keep looking ahead, not off to one side or the other for more than a quick glance." It took me a long time to admit he was right. If I was going down the road but looking off to the right, I'd drift to the right. Same thing here. Don't look at all the "what if" scenarios very much, or you'll subconsciously direct your relationship there, cause that's what you're prepared to deal with (so in an odd way, you're directing it toward your comfort zone, because of preparation).

Best of luck.

PS, your concerns about pics on the internet are well founded. Send him one and it will exist on your computer, his computer, and all the various servers between you. Even if nothing ever comes of what's on his computer (including perhaps, theft of a his laptop, not mentioned above), there are still all those servers.......

[Kadence]

Thanks everyone, your input has helped give me a much clearer view!

You are worried about losing this good thing or this good Master. OK. If this is a good thing and/or he is a good Master, then you won't lose it over ensuring your safety since he is not there to ensure it for you ("there" meaning you can touch him, not "there on the net"). If you do lose it, then it wasn't that good thing or he wasn't that good Master.

That sounds WAY over simplified, I know. Believe me, this is one time that simple says it all.

Enjoy what you have for now.

Watch it to see where it grows.

Look at it in terms of what it is today, not in terms of what the worst thing is that it might become in the future. I remember my father teaching me how to ride a bicycle when I was about 5 or 6. "You're gonna go where you are looking, son, whether you want to or not, so keep looking ahead, not off to one side or the other for more than a quick glance." It took me a long time to admit he was right. If I was going down the road but looking off to the right, I'd drift to the right. Same thing here. Don't look at all the "what if" scenarios very much, or you'll subconsciously direct your relationship there, cause that's what you're prepared to deal with (so in an odd way, you're directing it toward your comfort zone, because of preparation).

Best of luck.

PS, your concerns about pics on the internet are well founded. Send him one and it will exist on your computer, his computer, and all the various servers between you. Even if nothing ever comes of what's on his computer (including perhaps, theft of a his laptop, not mentioned above), there are still all those servers.......

Yikes, I hadn't even considered that. I'll take that into consideration. Thanks, GJ.