Humour and BDSM

[Uncle_Ed]

Someone commented about me "He thinks he is funny"

Yes, I replied, for without humour I would be nothing and that, I believe, would be a shame.

So-what do you think? Is there a place for "funny" within our activities? Should humour be left outside the bedroom/dungeon door? Do you like to laugh-be made to laugh?

This is not about me-I emphasise. I know what I am and I'm comfortable with it. This is about us as a community.

Any thoughts, my friends?

[Euryleia]

I've always thought it important to be able to laugh during sex. If there is one thing you can't take too seriously, that is it.

Sure, I've dropped out of the scene before with a giggle attack but I think we had a better time once we stopped taking ourselves so seriously.

ER

[TomOfSweden]

Just because someone might put on the "serious face" doesn't mean they are, or their arguments or comments are any more thought through or serious. Good humour is always serious. I think that people who can't laugh at anything are a little dead inside.

Humour can be great at opening up emotional floodgates. A friends grandmother had died a while back and when he told us he looked devastated but put on a face. Then another friend burst out with, "bing bong the wicked witch is dead" after which it was dumbfounded silence for a while while my first friends face went through every conceivable emotion. Then he collapsed on the floor bursting out in tears, which was exactly what he needed.

Humour is great. It's our most powerful tool to bond and most powerful weapon to break down barriers. I think it definitely has it's place here and in bed/dungeon. Whether or not you want it in a scene depends on what turns you on/off, off-course. I have no problems with it. I don't take myself very seriously.

[John56{vg}]

I need to be funny in sessions, in between sessions and just in the bedroom in general and a funny partner excites me.

I want someone that can keep up with me (and also that laughs at my jokes)

[MajesticFae]

Humor is definately necessary. If you're too serious with your partner and they're serious back, you two will seriously have some issues. Seriously though, being too serious can cause you to grow apart and even cause difficulties in talking.

You just have to be able to laugh and have fun with one another.

[Rhabbi]

Ed,

Humor is so much a part of my life, even in BDSM. I laugh with my subs as they tease and defy me all the time. And, as the one that made the comment that started this thread, let me say I meant it as a compliment. Without humor we would all be puritans. Man is the animal that laughs at himself, and I am among the silliest of the species.

[blythe spirit]

Without humor, one grows old and bitter - A good laugh is needed on a daily basis. So I really don't understand why it is that he got angry, when he pulled out his winky and I laughed.

[gagged_Louise]

This line of posts from Last Word Chain, the day before Christmas Eve last year, is proof that BDSMers have a sane, inventive sense of humour: - and enjoy playing around with language (the rule of the game. you know, is that each new post will start with the final word of the previous -and that some kind of story should be told or implied through the posts

(nowgirl) Now I'd like to wish you a happy holiday before I cum.

(DungeonMaster6)"Cum" she said again, assuming her Master will allow her such a pleasure. He smiled down at her wickedly. "You're such a fucking slut!" He said as his thumb and forefinger began squeezing her left nipple.

(nowgirl) Nipple...hmmm... she thought, nipple is such a hard word to begin a sentence.

(Sbbe) Sentence 107, I will not sas Master again. Sentence 108, I will not sas Master again...

(gagged_Louise) Again Master had stayed out late, and here she was on the basement mat, twisting and turning in an unforgiving hogtie, tugging angrily at the handcuffs and mmmph'ing into the 5" dildo gag that filled her mouth. Her hairdo totally disposed of, she sweated into her tank top and her panties. If Master was drunk when he came home from the club what would he put her through?

(Sbbe)Through the doorway he stepped. He hiccuped and then noticed the sub squirming on the floor.

[^firefly^]

I'd like to think I'm funny, even if no one ever gets my jokes. I have to find the humor in everything--even though it sometimes gets me in trouble for giggling at inapproriate moments. I just can't help it. People without a sense of humor tend to be boring.

[Uncle_Ed]

*grins* I think your reply to "The perfect sub" is brilliant firefly. Gave me a few laughs-thank you.

*hugs*

Ed.

[cadence]

I'd like to think I'm funny, even if no one ever gets my jokes. I have to find the humor in everything--even though it sometimes gets me in trouble for giggling at inapproriate moments. I just can't help it. People without a sense of humor tend to be boring.

I too like to think that I am funny but I don't think that many get my sense of humor.

My humor tends to be dry and sarcastic; I would certainly never use it in the bedroom. That is serious business in my opinion.

There are times when you need to be serious too.....
like when you are visiting a wax museum, and the lady at the front is telling you the rules of the place.....such as, don't lean over the barriers and touch the wax figures.......the usual spiel.......so it is always best never to look solemn and ask about the rule of lighting matches..........
the lady didn't think it was funny and I swear she took me seriously, even when I started laughing about it..........or she was just upset I interrupted her speech.

[Clevernick]

I just saw a funny Dom capture a sub as slave that I had previously tried for (and missed). He's the kind of guy that seems to carry around "this is fun" vibes whereever he goes. I was very jealous of course, but I also took away a lesson.

In a different context, I was just warned against using humour in my bdsm fiction, by the publisher. He told me to remove anything funny near the beginning, "until they're already hooked on the story". And he has experience.

So maybe humour is good in real live sex but bothers people watching/reading about sex?

[Arria]

Humour is vital for me. I dared not hope I would ever find a man who had a blacker sense of humour than I have, but yay I did! :-)

And I think it is just as important in bed, dungeon or wherever. If you want something serious, always pretty, perfect, never ever odd - go watch a movie, they had the time and means to cut out everything that did not fit the picture... real life is no film.

As for S/M in particular: My husband is able to make me laugh (for no reason) in the middle of a session, and then he says "you are thinking I am funny, don´t you" and whips me for it. The harder I try to stop, the more I giggle, and the more I get beaten. I found this an amazing experience. And sorry, I have no idea how he does it. He will not tell :-)

And MajesticFae - your comment gave me a serious case of laughing fit! *lol*

Kind regards
A.

[Mishka]

I love to laugh. Especially at myself.

Laughter during sex eases the "I don't know how the hell to do this" tension of untried technique and/or positions. Or "how does this knot come undone again" moment? And also the "wait, my body is not cooperating" times when you realize how old and out of shape you are.

[Guest 91108]

I think humour is important.
Is why I did the laughter thread in A-Z BDSM.

[crazy_grrluk]

I myself think that without laughter one would definatly cry. it is what makes the world go round.

As most know I have a very sick warped sence of humour which most people love. I have also been known to make people laugh and smile.
could I ever be a stand up comedian???????? doubt it.

I am just me

[John56{vg}]

I love to laugh. Especially at myself.

Laughter during sex eases the "I don't know how the hell to do this" tension of untried technique and/or positions. Or "how does this knot come undone again" moment? And also the "wait, my body is not cooperating" times when you realize how old and out of shape you are.

O lord Mishka, this has hit home to me lately when I realize how out of breath I get at exertion and how, well, things do not cooperate as well as they used to.

And I must laugh at it cause the alternative is just whimpering and whining, LOL.

[~hellish one~]

huh?

oh wait sorry...i got a little confused there for a second by Unc's misspelling of HUMOR in the title of the thread. ~giggles~ you know i can correct that for you if you want Unc ~smiles sweetly~ i do moderate this section...

~blows a kiss and runs~

[SheepishJaina]

Lord, I can't count the number of times I've broken down into a giggle fit while playing, and Q's done it as well. Does humor have a place in D/s? Hell yes! I couldn't imagine being in a D/s relationship where I had to be serious all the time. Without giving details- I've done several tasks that involved my stuffed sheep! Now if that isn't being silly and incorporating humor into D/s.. I don't know what is.

[Mishka]

note to self: Add to thread "I've never had sex"...

I've never had sex with a sheep.

[pixie_dust]

Slips, trips, and the occasional "oops!" If we can't laugh at ourselves and find the light side of life, IMO there isn't much reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Yep, I've gotten a few swats on the behind for laughing when I shouldn't have, but no one can say (IMO) that I don't have a healthy sense of humor.

[nightsilver]

Just because we could use more fun cat pictures with captions...

[Tasker]

Sometimes people just take things too seriously and forget that it is supposed to be fun. No matter what the relationship is, if it is without fun or humour, it would be pretty damn boring in no time at all.
Some of the best times that are to be had involve laughter

[Logic1]

If you cant laugh at yourself and laugh at others then you are a sad person. I am good at laughing at myself and what I do wrong.
Laughing during a session or during sex is a good icebreaker and can be pretty darn hillarious especially when you talk about it at a later time.
yep I like laughing. Who doesnt.
Life isnt more serious than you make it.

[moptop]

Laughing in the middle of a session when something goes wrong can also save egos. Some people might think it's the opposite - 'they're laughing at me' style - but generally, bursting into fits of giggles because something goes wrong is so much more fun than swearing and getting all het up about it. You can just pick up (or pick the other person/implement/rope up) and carry on. Or say 'the hell with this, let's try something else' and not mind.

As far as humour in writing goes (Clevernick) - that's an interesting comment. I think also it depends on whether you decide that the genre you're going to write is humourous erotica/porn, or serious. I guess if it's serious, you want to capture the serious readers' imaginations before you make a joke. Otherwise they might not bother starting.

[Logic1]

Laughing in the middle of a session when something goes wrong can also save egos. Some people might think it's the opposite - 'they're laughing at me' style - but generally, bursting into fits of giggles because something goes wrong is so much more fun than swearing and getting all het up about it. You can just pick up (or pick the other person/implement/rope up) and carry on. Or say 'the hell with this, let's try something else' and not mind.

that was kinda what I was trying to say but you put it better in words. gracias

[cariad]

huh?

oh wait sorry...i got a little confused there for a second by Unc's misspelling of HUMOR in the title of the thread. ~giggles~ you know i can correct that for you if you want Unc ~smiles sweetly~ i do moderate this section...

~blows a kiss and runs~

Do that, and I will pull rank and put colourful u's in the all the titles in your sections!

Grins and quacks

cariad

[~hellish one~]

Do that, and I will pull rank and put colourful u's in the all the titles in your sections!

Grins and quacks

cariad

omg not nice!!! ~laughs~ actually that is quite sadistic!

~pinches the naughty cariad~

[cariad]

*squeals and runs off grinning for my bag of best British u's*

cariad

[gagged_Louise]

*recalls her favourite ever 'sound-imitating' wording in a comic strip.* Captured detective reaches forward, begins talking to crooks but gets kicked in the groin:

"She is you-UUUNNNNNGH!!"