Jealousy

[thir]

My slave and I have been living this lifestyle for 5 years and she has been collar for 3. I am a poly Master and in the begining she thought she was as well (or maybe she just thought she could do it because she wanted to be collared so bad.) The understanding was written into her contract and before long I began to introduce others into our play. It became obvious right away that her intense devotion is akin to obsession. The jealousy was/is monumental. It took me aback. It has been a struggle because she feels like a failure as a slave and I feel crippled as a Master. The problem is that we both want eachother to be happy. Yes, she is my slave. However, I do not force her servitude. Force will break her will and spirit. She has begged me to take another girl so that she can feel good about her gift, but I know it is killing her inside. Her jealousy makes her act out whenever we try to bring someone in.
We are working on it and I am training her to find better ways to deal with it, but I question myself for I fear I am killing the very thing that makes her special--her obsession!

Can I ask some questions? It seems to me you touch on something important here. Is it possible that her obsession is simply being monogamous? Is it possible that her obsession is devoution? Just asking, because you said in your first post that all subs are obsessive, and I am trying to understand what exactly you
mean by it.

"Definition of OBSESSIVE
1
a : tending to cause obsession b : excessive often to an unreasonable degree
2
: of, relating to, or characterized by obsession : deriving from obsession


Many dancers are obsessive about their weight.
He is an obsessive workaholic who never stops thinking about his job.
an obsessive interest in space travel
The new therapy is supposed to help people control their obsessive thoughts."

Further, how does obsession (as I understand the word) go with poly relationships?
And finally, is it possible that it all went a bit too fast?

Hope you understand that I mean no offence here, just wanting to get to something important: Is there something obsessive about submission?

[slavehaven]

Can I ask some questions? It seems to me you touch on something important here. Is it possible that her obsession is simply being monogamous? Is it possible that her obsession is devoution? Just asking, because you said in your first post that all subs are obsessive, and I am trying to understand what exactly you
mean by it.

"Definition of OBSESSIVE
1
a : tending to cause obsession b : excessive often to an unreasonable degree
2
: of, relating to, or characterized by obsession : deriving from obsession


Many dancers are obsessive about their weight.
He is an obsessive workaholic who never stops thinking about his job.
an obsessive interest in space travel
The new therapy is supposed to help people control their obsessive thoughts."

Further, how does obsession (as I understand the word) go with poly relationships?
And finally, is it possible that it all went a bit too fast?

Hope you understand that I mean no offence here, just wanting to get to something important: Is there something obsessive about submission?

1. Her obsession is definitely defined around monogamy which is partially my fault since I painted that picture for her early in our relationship. However, I believe her obsession is not fixed and will evolve to suit my demands--I hope!

2. Of course her obsession is tied to her devotion. They are both pulling the same wagon. With that thinking, as one changes direction the other shall follow. We are changing direction and I know she will adapt and give me her all no matter where I lead her. This trait is the essence of a true submissive. Her obsession will find new footholds.

3. Obsession in poly relations seems to be the rub. Obsessiveness in any relationships breeds possessiveness, and the possessiveness is what causes the heartache.

4. Speed of approach is not the problem. As with any psychological discomfort, exposure is the issue. It's either building discomfort or instant panic but all roads lead to Rome.

5. Finally, yes, I believe obsession and submission are common tandems. It's the nearly fanatical single mindedness to serve that makes my slave such a wonderful subject.

[propertyofslavehaven]

I am a true slave. I feel it inside me. I have the need to please even as a little girl, teenager and now. I am a submissive person through and through. I never heard of Master/slave relationships until my Master told me about them. When he did i was very interested in all of it and i knew i could be a slave for him. I knew that pleasing him would come easy to me. I thought that there was nothing i wouldn't do to make him happy. I love him and worship him with every ounce of my being. He truly is my everything. Without him i am nothing because he is what makes me whole. I learned that i am a jealous person and maybe it comes from loving him so much. I know what he wants and what makes him happy. one of the things that makes him happy is having others to play with, which he does. but my jealousy behavior afterwards is a problem. I want to give him everything flawlessly. I feel like a failure as a slave because i am so jealous. It seems like im not serving him completely because we go through this jealousy problem. We have had many many talks and tried different things to overcome this problem. Master always reassures me im his number one and i will always be very special to him and he is very understanding. But there is some kind of fear inside me and i don't know what it is. I do know im selfish when it comes to my Master- that nobody deserves him like i do. I know his likes his dislikes...I don't want anyone to get a chance to get to know him like me and please him like i please him. I also know that having others to play with is one of the things that make him happy, and that is the most important to please my Master and i cant do it without the green monster coming out. The jealousy feeling is overwhelming and i want to stop it for him and me or at least keep it under control and behave in the right manor. My question is that if someone is jealous can they ever get over it or are they always jealous? I want to be a true slave to my Master. I will always worship and serve him to the best of my ability and i will never stop trying to better myself for him. I love my Master unconditionally. That is what makes this so complicated because why am i jealous if i feel so stongly about pleasing my Master????