i think on the whole its just the way people are and while i don't go all outing myself and fly my freak flag high, i don't normalize myself either.
That is basically where I stand, too. I wouldn't go around announcing to the world in a loud voice "We're different!", but sometimes you can't help doing the little things that you're so used to you don't realize you do them. And I don't want to live my life in fear worrying about "hiding" what we are, either. Yes, during swimsuit season I take care not to mark him, but I'm not going to tell him "If we get ice cream at the beach you have to choose what you want for yourself." I think he'd cry.

I am grateful that we do live in an area where weird looks and snide comments are all we get. My sister (who is a lesbian but not bdsmy) lives in a more intolerant area, and she does have to take care not to hold her sweetheart's hand in public or call her "honey" or put her arm around her or any such thing, because they fear being physically hurt or fired from their jobs or some other kind of crazy reaction.

So maybe I will just have to learn better to let it roll off my shoulders; though really I don't care what they say about me; it's when they insult the one I love that makes it harder.

Btw, I think "bdsmy" is now my new favorite word.