Mentoring??? DOMME vs. DOM

[denuseri]

Alltough both my Owner and I have had other people train/mentor us at different times He has often said the best teachers he has ever had have allways been the submissive herself.

Who better to to help him explore his will to dominante than the one whom he is dominating?

I also stongly reccomend that your man join the site here and explore the forums with you as opposed to adopting himself under any one dominant regardless of thier sex (which btw has nothing to do with understanding a sub any better than thier haircolor would) (nor would his assuming the role of a submissive for a time under said dom` ~ another misconception argued in the comunity with no basis in actual fact).


Good luck and congratulations in finding your man interested in bringing to futition the dream of a good D/s relationship with you!!!!

[Carpe Coma]

Alltough both my Owner and I have had other people train/mentor us at different times He has often said the best teachers he has ever had have allways been the submissive herself.

Damn, you beat me to it. I was going to say that if you really want a mentor for him that will understand you, your best bet would be to seek out an wise female submissive (or perhaps a switch). Besides you, who else is going to understand your perspective better?

[blueyes]

I want to thank everyone for thier input on this. You have given us alot to think about and to discuss.

He is joining the site soon, he has just been short on time this week.

Thanks again!

[fetishdj]

[B][I][COLOR="Pink"]
I also stongly reccomend that your man join the site here and explore the forums with you as opposed to adopting himself under any one dominant regardless of thier sex (which btw has nothing to do with understanding a sub any better than thier haircolor would) (nor would his assuming the role of a submissive for a time under said dom` ~ another misconception argued in the comunity with no basis in actual fact).

Yes, this is why I presented my comment in a very neutral way - it is a controversial issue. I think the main thing that makes it controversial are some stories I have heard of unscrupulous Doms forcing a potential new Dom to serve them as a sub but not actually teaching them anything other than how to be a sub.

Oz's point is also a good one - there is always that fear in any man when he has a beautiful woman (and I am curious to your opinions of him playing with a Domme...). One thing that needs to be determined is what he means by 'being mentored' it can mean a range of things to different people. For example:

- Mentor and new Dom/me stay in remote communication talking about things. Mentor sends Dom/me ideas to try on his/her own sub but may not actually meet said sub or interact with them directly. Mentor does, however, remain 'on standby' in case the Dom/me wants to talk about anything. This level of mentorship can actually be done just as well by this forum and it is how some have used it in the past (see all the posts about 'what can I do to my submissive', 'is such and such a technique safe?' and so on). However, an individual you get on well with can be a trusted confidant and that is sometimes needed.

- Mentor is a professional of some form (usually Dommes here as I have never heard of a professional Dom) and they take on the new Domme as an apprentice. They come into their business, watch some sessions, help out in some sessions and then take on some clients of their own. After a while they may take on thier own clients in the Mentor's dungeon before branching out on thier own. A variant of this is some Dommes who offer sessions for inexperienced couples where they allow them access to the dungeon and may advise/help the Dominant partner. This is something you have to pay for, however.

- Mentor is a friend who lives close by and who takes on a very hands on role in tutoring both Dom and sub. This is the level where you need the most trust between all three participants.

There are probably other variants but these are the ones I can think of at present.

[blueyes]

Again thanks for the input it is apperciated. We have talked about the issue of a Dom sneaking me away or him being consumed by another sub.

I have to admit that the first time in my adult life I am very secure in this relationship. We talk and talk alot, there is alot of respect and love there so I don't think that is a worry for us. We have been through alot and still always end up taking care of each other.

We are looking at joining a local club also, so maybe we will find a local, who knows.

May the search begin.

Thank you so much