You know, I do understand why people object to the Dom-with-a-harem. I do myself, for myself. I guess I just didn't see why this was a red flag of assholery. Some subs seem to be looking for this kind of arrangement, and God bless 'em, I say. After reading these posts, I guess I would say, an asshole of a Dom is anyone who tries to convince you that he meets your agenda but secretly doesn't. It's not the fact that he doesn't meet your agenda that makes him an asshole - that's how we spell it here, Pearlgem - it's that he hides or disguises it.

You want to be Girl Number Seven? Go for it. You want the one who's married/won't call you/bosses you around/won't let go - fine. But if that's not what you want, then keep your eyes and ears open to see if he's what he says he is. And actually, not to burst anyone's bubble, but that's really your responsibility, not his. You need to be sure that he's right for you, and you need to pay attention. Of course people shouldn't lie to each other, but lots of these problems arise not from lies but just from people not heeding the warnings.

IMHO.