Certain people bring out my submissive side

[SauvagePouline]

well that's not quite what I was looking for....

If it was that simple, I would break it off, and enjoy my time in france. Do some wonderful new things... enjoy myself.

But my bf is more than that. I do love him. And perhaps 'dormant' isn't exactly the right term. I still enjoyed kink, and it certainly didn't help that I've been busy. Some of my lack of interest was certainly my fault.

I just find it utterly confusing that my interest came to life so vividly, not just in general (in which case it wouldn't bother me- I have been celibate for the last couple months) but targeted as it hasn't really been before. With no real instigation on the target's part.

I can't really explain the true crux of the matter, as my words fail me. I just rest ridiculously confused. And eager. I've actually been wondering about ways of accommodating these issues. But nothing quite cuts it. I keep wondering if he'll put forth a bit more interest if I just pushed the issue more. Or if I could "settle" for a female dom, if it meant i could have some D/s and keep him (he's willing to share me with a woman, but I've always equated dom with male) And even if that worked, would it be enough? I don't know. And I don't like not knowing.

-sigh- If i could just stay in France and not have to face this problem ever... ha... life would be good

[tydnchaynz{NSXX}]

-sigh- If i could just stay in France and not have to face this problem ever... ha... life would be good

To me sillypony, this seems to say it all *soft smile* Perhaps when i was 22 i would have been as confused as you are, but after living almost twice as long as that *no old woman jokes either!!..LOL*, there is only one piece of advice that i can give you dear.

Life is WAY too short to be in a situation that does not meet your needs! i wonder if your confusion has to do with your *love* for your bf, or your body and mind telling you that your bf just doesn't seem to be doing it for either any more and this is causing that lovely emotion 'guilt' to come to fore. Perhaps for the rest of your time in France, you should reevaluate your relationship with your bf and what needs you have that are not being met. Then when you get back to him, you should discuss these with him. If you can come to a compromise that both of you are comfortable with, GREAT! If you can't, perhaps it's time to change things *shrugs* And at the risk of getting blasted for this, you have been with your bf since you were 18 years old. Perhaps there is safety and security in the relationship because you don't know anything else??? It's ok to grow and change, *smiles*, just remember that while you're growing and changing, the people and things around you are doing the same. What was perfect for you at 18 may not be so at 22. Best wishes to you and i sincerely hope that you find the answers you are looking for!

tyd

[bip0lar]

I just find it utterly confusing that my interest came to life so vividly, not just in general (in which case it wouldn't bother me- I have been celibate for the last couple months) but targeted as it hasn't really been before. With no real instigation on the target's part. I can't really explain the true crux of the matter, as my words fail me. I just rest ridiculously confused. And eager. I've actually been wondering about ways of accommodating these issues. But nothing quite cuts it.

that i understand--completely. As i do your first post. I won't go into 'advice' on how you could or should proceed, i honestly can't help there. Maybe it's true, what tyd says in the sense that you've found a comfort zone and you're not entirely sure if you want to leave it; either way your submissive side is not another person, it's a part of you---what i do is try to keep it under control. Remind myself that it's in _my_ head and the other person isn't really dominating me, i just think he is, lol.
Confused and eager, my [short] life story. Good luck with however you pursue this. Sorry for not being much help, though. *smiles*