Transgender...what do you think...

[fellintobed]

Does it scare you?
I am scared of the thought that a loved one could die unexpectedly, car crashes, and hypodermic needles. I hardly think that how a person chooses to explore or express their gender goes anywhere near those in terms of creating fear.

Would you take the person seriously as another sex?
As seriously as they take themselves. It takes a lot of work to successfully pass and transition to a different gender, and I have a great deal of respect for anyone who takes on such a journey. I once met a gorgeous young woman who, as I learned through talking to her, was biologically male. Knowing that fact did not diminish my attraction to her in the least, and I absolutely took her seriously. She was a woman in body, mind and soul, and that's what matters.

Would you still find your partner sexually attractive as another sex?
I don't know, but I suspect so. I mean, neither of us are swimsuit models - we love each other deeply and passionately despite our flaws. He wouldn't be a good-looking woman, but I don't love people based solely on looks.

Would you still stay with them if they wanted to be another sex?
Impossible to say. There are so many factors that go into maintaining ANY long-term relationship that it would simply be something that we would have to address when the time came. I would want to stay with him, yes, because I love him. I can't speculate on what would actually happen, it's too complicated to sort out in any sort of simplistic yes/no way.

What if you were with someone, a male? Then one day they came out and told you they used to be female, would you stay with them or leave them, why or why not? (Visa versa this question if you are male with a female)
Well, I probably would have noticed his genitalia long before he made his confession! But let's suppose we'd only been on a few dates and hadn't seen each other naked yet. It wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker. I would ask a lot of questions, and hope that he was comfortable enough answering them, and take things from there.

Also, how do you feel about transgender? Do you believe that this is how we were born and it should stay that way no matter what?
My personal belief is that gender, like sexuality, is a spectrum. Some people feel that they are wholly male, others that they are wholly female, some that they are androgynous or otherwise not wholly male OR female. I believe that people are born knowing what gender they are, yes - and those whose (psychological) gender doesn't match their (physical) sex are the people we label "transgender". People do all sorts of things to change their appearance in order to satisfy an inner need or desire. They work out and build muscle mass. They take growth hormones to increase their height. They have surgery to correct genetic abnormalities. They have breast enlargements and reductions, nose jobs and tummy tucks. Why should it be acceptable to do these things but not to alter one's body to more closely resemble a certain gender?

[shayna{L_D}]

but I don't love people based solely on looks.

amen.