BDSM And Feminism: Intertwined? How So?

[damyanti]

I suppose that depends on your (often skewed) definition of what feminist is.

I find those women who say that they are not feminists to be spoiled, rude and ungrateful. And also ignorant, because one of the meanings of the word feminist is to be of feminine character. So if you are not feminine, what are you, butch?

If we dare to judge a religion based on the war mongering of the extremists there are always those who will say "shut up you racist hater", and yet it is completely acceptable to bash all women who identify themselves as feminists based on some caricature or a small group of dellusional radicals.

Women died so that you could have a choice. Yes, YOU! They were tortured and prosecuted in a manner that some of you are terribly casual about. And thats not even counting all the women condmned just for daring to show that they have a brain.

Its a horrible matter of things that only a small percentage of women on this planet enjoy it (relative freedom) and yet we now want to stiffle it there too. More than half of Earths population are women, yet they only make 1% of its rich and the most of its poor. Even in countries that we are talking about (a few professions aside) women with equal qualifications are regularly paid less than their male counterparts.
And we are still laregly judged based solely on how we look and how we dress.

Being a feminist isnt about being the one thing, its about the right to be a woman and that we are valued for it.

To me Helen Gurley Brown is as much of a feminist icon as Susan B. Anthony.

Yes, I agree, that in some western countries certain things have went too far...but its once again a matter of women having to be responsible for everything. It, of course, has nothing to do with men being lazy and spoiled and twisting things by thinking that now that women are "liberated" it means that in adddition to going to work, cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children they also now have the right to change their own tires.

How exactly are feminists responsible that men cant keep up? I must have missed the part in the feminist manifesto where it says that wanting equal pay and the right to expression somehow amounts to men becoming rude and unmotivated.

Yes, its all feminist fault. It would have nothing to do with consumerism, technological development, increase in the population, mobility of the people, the fact that teaching etiquette in schools has been deemed uncool and worthless...

I am a feminist. I expect to be treated equally in all things. And I think that when it comes to "romance" men should be men and women are to be treated as ladies.

But men are rarely men anymore, and paradoxaly thats often down to overindulgent stay at home moms. An example: a lady in question was a high powered corporate manager who quit her job to raise her children, an older boy and a girl. Last year a girl started school. But seeing her take them to school is a real telling sight...her little daughter carries (struggles, really) her own bag, and she is teaching her to mend for herself and to be independent. Mom however carries her sons bag, and openly admits that she is softer on him and that she tends to "cuddle" him more and do things for him that she expects her daughter to do for herself.

Personally, (I am not that old)...I couldnt wait for my mom to go back to work after my brother was born. Its true that her career for a long time took back seat to my dads, but I cant exspress how much I was always proud of her for working. I love my mother, but the thought of her as a stay at home mom fills me with horror. The trick is in balance.
Of course, I have to admit, when it comes to my brother my mom was no better than the lady in the above example.

Sorry ladies, you cant have it both ways. You cant say I am not a feminist, but I want choice and equal pay. You want want want...well, sorry, but without feminits you are nothing but a pair of tits and an ass and nobody cares what you want.

*I appologies for crude language, but I was demonstrating a point.*

[SnickerKitten]

I find those women who say that they are not feminists to be spoiled, rude and ungrateful. And also ignorant, because one of the meanings of the word feminist is to be of feminine character. So if you are not feminine, what are you, butch?
**********************
Sorry ladies, you cant have it both ways. You cant say I am not a feminist, but I want choice and equal pay. You want want want...well, sorry, but without feminits you are nothing but a pair of tits and an ass and nobody cares what you want.

*I appologies for crude language, but I was demonstrating a point.*

Let's see... I'm not a feminist. I am spoiled and extremely grateful for it. Rude? Well, on occasion, I've been known to be. Because I don't consider myself a "feminist" does not mean that my character can't be feminine.

I can have it both ways, I don't have to be a feminist and say I want to be equal to men in all ways. I don't believe that pay and choices should have anything to do with whether you are a man or a woman. However, I am a lady and I FAR prefer to be in the company of gentlemen.

Also, at another point you said "It has been my experience that women who proclaim that they are not feminists are the ones who just want to stay home, go shopping, do nothing and have a "sponsor" who pays for it all and are too conceited to lift a finger. They want to be treated like a lady. In Europe we call them WAGs, and if thats a lady,...I prefer to buy my own handbags. To me a man is a person, not a wallet. "

Again, I am not a feminist. I am a stay at home mom, which is a really funny title, IMO. I, like most "stay at home moms" that I know am not home very much. I do go shopping frequently and spend quite a bit of time at it and therefore am frequently able to save loads of money by comparing and waiting for sales and finding the best deals. It's not uncommon for me to spend $100 and come home with a $500 value.

As far as "do nothing" I have to laugh. I spend one week a month on call 24/7 for a disaster relief organization. I am then on call the rest of the month to answer questions, teach classes, mentor other volunteers and to respond to larger disasters. Approximately 3-4 times a year I answer the call to respond to disasters in other parts of the country, as well. Oddly enough, although I am a lady, I have at times driven a forklift for this organization and the men I was working with still treat me like a lady.

My "sponsor" certainly does pay for everything including my handbags, although I do pick them out myself. This arrangement does not appear to trouble him. In fact, he rather likes that he doesn't have to deal with me having a work schedule that keeps me from him. Being a volunteer, if he decides to come home early and wants me with him, as frequently happens, I am there.

As far as seeing Rago as a wallet or a person, I see him as neither. I see him as the center of my universe and I LOVE that he sees me the same way. I am very glad that I have never given in to the idea that I can't have everything I want and I can't have things two ways, because that is exactly what I have and I'm grateful for it.

-kitten