Hm I think the idea started in my head somewhere around the time where in one of my favourite books I read a gang rape scene over and over. It was a short scene, half a page and the girl died in the end and I couldn't understand why it aroused me so. But that's where it started I think. I was around 12.

The followed a lot of internet activity - and finally I met a Master from the net. Unfortunately he was pathetic and kept asking me what I wanted him to do... and his belly button smelled. (honest, I was never more grossed out giving a blow-job, and I can't believe there is something that can put me off that.)

And then I almost gave up on the whole thing and then I met a wonderful man who also happened to be a dominant. But he is just my friend now. We had some of my first really really good bdsm experiences together. But I'm still really low on the experience scale.