I never had a first experience with bdsm. It did not work that way - like a sudden vision or realisation. It is a gradual process. Tying girls up, pulling their hair, teasing them or scaring them with a pet frog. This can be considered either normal behavior or early signs of bdsm tendencies. Then later in life, you may spank your gf or tie her up blindfolded while you take her roughly. Is this bdsm or just kinky sex. So for me it wasn't like turning on a light switch it was more like the sun rising and it slowly getting light.