"How much of BDSM do I want in my own life?":
When I discovered the world of BDSM, which has only been this year, I asked myself, "How much of BDSM do I want in my life?" At first, my answer was that I choose my boyfriend and have a discrete online BDSM relationship on the side...I love my boyfriend and he tries to get into it for me...As time went on, my answer to my question changed and I realized why they call this "the lifestyle". I realized that it's a permanent, exciting, and important part of me and I felt it was disservice and a lie for me to keep it a secret. I'm now out of the closet, full-time lifestyler.

In BDSM and out with the boyfriend:
Although it was one of the hardest decision in my life, I knew that breaking up with him was for the best for the both of us...I'm very happy now that it's no longer in the closet, nor a repressed need. I have one friend who in his 20's, had a Domme and was very happy to be submissive. He is now married to a vanilla wife for 19 years and said he wished he did what I did, which is to have a wife who is also into BDSM. Instead, he is happily married, but always pining for what he left behind in his 20's...