What is topping from the bottom?

[sadiej]

i think there is also a subtler form of "topping from the bottom" in manipulation. some subs may say and do the seemingly right submissive things. but they try to manipulate and control their Master or Mistress through bad behavior.

they desire attention and/or punishment. and by pretending to be disobedient, they manipulate their Master into giving them what they want.

i see this as undermining the control of a Master and disrupting the flow of the relationship and connection. if my Master is constantly having to correct my behavior then he is not the one controlling the relationship and i am not truly submitting.

every sub makes mistakes and sometimes struggles with disobedience. but a sub that is constantly disobeying is trying to fill their own needs for their own pleasure. that is not fulfilling to both partners in this relationship.

when i truly surrender, Master is free to lead and take more control... honest control.

when i manipulate, it is like stealing that control away from him. and it is not an honest submission at all.

[bind_me_obey_me]

i think there is also a subtler form of "topping from the bottom" in manipulation. some subs may say and do the seemingly right submissive things. but they try to manipulate and control their Master or Mistress through bad behavior.

they desire attention and/or punishment. and by pretending to be disobedient, they manipulate their Master into giving them what they want.

i see this as undermining the control of a Master and disrupting the flow of the relationship and connection. if my Master is constantly having to correct my behavior then he is not the one controlling the relationship and i am not truly submitting.

every sub makes mistakes and sometimes struggles with disobedience. but a sub that is constantly disobeying is trying to fill their own needs for their own pleasure. that is not fulfilling to both partners in this relationship.

when i truly surrender, Master is free to lead and take more control... honest control.

when i manipulate, it is like stealing that control away from him. and it is not an honest submission at all.

This is a wonderful post and so very true. How and why sub's push back is often up for debate. Is it because they want to be punished because they like it? I think sometimes it's just that you can't quite let go and this is often true of young subs (not in age, but in experience) the fear of giving up complete control is quite scary sometimes. And so pushing back gives them a foothold to hold onto. Questioning why they feel the need to do this can be difficult, is it because they don't' trust their Master enough? All I can say is when you do give it up completely, when you don't manipulate and try and get what you want, it's much more rewarding and incredibly special. Think about whether you truly trust Him/Her and if you can't answer that, you're not ready.