The Next Step in D/s

[tessa]

I decided to post this threat because I am about to embark on a new chapter of my life with my owner, meaning we're getting married

In his grave, Freud is absolutely salivating at that slip right now.

I believe in regular tasks & rituals, but can't get my head around being married to someone who sees me as her Master.

Geez it's bad enough now, I spend half my life encouraging my wife to be more confident & independant.

Please- no offence to all the lovely subs out there who are powerful & confident, & married to their Dom- I know it's possible!

No offense taken by this lovely, powerful and confident sub, but those who are still in need of encouragement and support from their significant other might take offense. I think it's the "...bad enough..." that will get them where it probably already hurts.

Ironically enough one of the things I struggle with the most is something that I truly want which is to have children one day. I know its possible, so many of you, and others have children and manage to keep the kinky spice alive, but I must admit I worry that it will cut it into the 24/7 control relationship I live with my owner. We all have our obligations regardless of the D/s. but I just think that my son or daughter finding their mom completely mummified and helpless in the basement would cause some problems. Does that make sense or just sound plain silly?! lol

It makes sense, and while yummy-image producing, does not sound silly at all.

Having children can and will wreak havoc interruptus on the physical activities now and again...and again and again. But the mental play can still continue. You just need to have realistic expectations about how it will be after tots are toddling around and getting into everything. ~pictures him amidst the tots...thinks of Napolean Dynamite saying, "you gonna eat those tots?"...giggles wildly~

And yes, your child finding you mummified in the basement would freak him-tot or her-tot out to no end. I don't recommend it. And forget locked doors. They become something to conquer to aforementioned tots. And there is no mood-killer like the one where your child is on the other side of the door, knocking loudly and saying even more loudly, over and over, "Hey! Mommy?? Daddy?? What are you doing? Can I come in too? Hey? Mooooooooooooooomyyyyyyyy!!! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadyyyyyyyyy!! Let me in!" As Lily said, utilize heavily stay-overs at Grandma's if you can.

This made me think of another question?! How many doms demand or better put expect (b/c some ask very sweetly, which is absolutely nerve wracking) a girl or boy to be absolutely obedient. Where does the line get drawn between physically being told to things, and living your life precisely as someone else sees fit?! *very inquisitive glance all around*

The line is drawn by the both of you together, in precisely the way you want it to be drawn. Everyone's line is unique and in all kinds of different places.

The term 'absolutely obedient' sounds too much like a doormat to me. Things change all the time, & so do people- flexibility is very important.

There needs to be a constant challenge for me personally- & boy do I get that with lisa!

Good for you and lisa. Glad you have the relationship you want. I have to say, though, qualifying the type of submissive that certain Dominants prefer as a "doormat" is a bit off-putting, much the same as characterizing challenging submissives as bratty bitches who top from the bottom would be.

Progressing to an absolute level of obedience doesn't signify stagnancy. Quite the opposite, I imagine. Talk about an ever-changing process! That kind of discipline doesn't just happen. It takes time and skill and perseverance from a Dominant and submissive to achieve such. All-around challenge, I would think.

We are all unique, no matter our manner of serving. Name-calling should be left to those who utilize it best- presidential candidates with self-serving agendas. Besides, they make it funny. There's that.