I think it's down to statistics. I think people in the BDSM scene are fairly liberal as to how a relationship should look. This is down to numbers. There are many more submissive men for every dominant woman than submissive woman for every dominant man.

This I think creates different cultures. Dominant men have to work harder than dominant women to get a partner, which means they need to work more on themselves to attract women. I think chances are pretty good the members of the two categories would be just as demanding, if they could get away with it.

We are social creatures, and we adapt out tastes after what is available. Lucyboy, your attitude seems to me to be fairly healthy and it would surprise me if you wouldn't find a woman to suit you if you look hard enough. And maybe you are right. Maybe the woman of your dreams won't be found in the BDSM scene.

None of the five long term slaves I've had through out my life have I met through any BDSM comunities. Me personally, I think it's a terrible place to meet future partners. Maybe it's a Stockholm thing.

Being dominant or submissive is something we are regardles scenery, labels or rubber clothing.