chalsia

will the journey even begin?

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, 08-26-2008 at 07:49 PM (1313 Views)

for years and years i lurked, read everything under the sun that contained anything and everything about bdsm. my fantasies rampant, my arousal at the stories so great. Laying in bed at night fantasizing about the girl that is being controlled by the strong Master, who gets punished for her indiscretions. i was the girl lurking in the chat rooms, watching, listening, thinking that i was learning. but what did i really learn, that strong men are an arousal for me, that their dominance makes me week in the knees. or did i find out that someone else's pain makes me wet. does that make me a submissive? would it be different if i was the one being hurt, if i was the one being controlled, if i was actually the one that has no choice. it all looks wonderful on paper or on the computer screen it is a great arousal, some bed time masturbating material, but in the end, if i have it for real, how will it make me feel. will i puddle as i'm controlled, will i orgasm because he touched me? so many questions.. so many answers, and the journey has not even begun.

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Comments

gypsiecowboy - 08-31-2008 05:36 PM
I think that you cannot ever know until you experience your imaqinations. Of course there is fear (some believe that is a large part of the turn on. It is not necessary though for there to be pain to begin to experience being sexually dominated nor to begin to experience 24/7 control. On the other hand pain may be what you actually crave. In that case you can still set limits (but then you are topping from the bottom maybe) or you can try to very carefully choose someone to be gentle as they guide you gradually so that you can find your own real limits - or that you want to choose the person who will be in totaly control... so many questions, so many answers... masturbation is wonderful, I know but is not nearly enough and can become very frustrating. would you like to try to begin online or by telephone or have you tried the taskee position here in tasking? you live east or west of the mississippi; north or south of the mason dixon line; assuming you are an American Girl you will know those geographic terms... I would love to discuss with you in whatever manner suits you to begin with as long as you know that a beginning has to have an end...GypsieCowboy