Noobs in a dungeon

[phragmites]

Hi! My husband and I are members of an adult lifestyles club that has a pretty well-stocked and well-run dungeon area. I have a long standing interest in submission and bondage, and was in an M/s relationship for a while before meeting my husband, though that relationship was largely psychological and didn't have the fetish accoutrements so I don't know much if anything about dungeon play. My husband doesn't have as much innate interest in BDSM but is open to trying new things and does enjoy my submission.

We'd like to try a scene in the club's dungeon but frankly, don't know where to start, and also my husband gets shy given that there are others watching (though that's of course part of the appeal!) and worries that he won't know what to do.

So my question has 2 parts:

1. Are there things you could recommend for us to do at home alone together to kind of ramp up and increase his confidence? I've thought of maybe switching roles in certain controlled/planned situations, so that I could show him how to do certain things, what they feel like, and maybe convey what I find positive about submission... Good idea or not?

2. Are there specific things we could do as an intro in a dungeon playspace? Internet resources with ideas and instructions? The DM there is very willing to help and instruct, but I think it would ruin the effect for my husband if he had to ask him for a LOT of help -- hard to feel masterful when you're constantly having to say, "umm... and what is this thing for again?" :-) The dungeon is, as far as I know, filled with fairly standard items: a table with various rings to chain you to, manacles suspended from the ceiling, a spanking bench, many whips and other implements, a cage, etc.

Thanks in advance,
phragmites

[jaro_99]

Good luck...sounds like it will be fun!

And that's the main thing - keep it fun...and work on keeping it simple too. Yeah the dungeon will have lots of stuff you've not got at home...but that just means you've lots of reasons for repeat visits. You shouldn't feel you need to 'master' (sorry) everything on the first go. In fact, you both probably will feel that a little experimentation will go a long way the first few times.

As far as the idea of switching roles...well why not so long as you can both be comfortable with it. Maybe what might work better is simply to play around with a few ideas and talk them through. For example, sounds like you're interested in the points for bondage and hanging in the dungeon and this certainly can be worked on at home. Work out which positions you both enjoy the most...especially those that for you feel the most submissive. That way you'll have an idea of what you want before you enter the dungeon. From my experience I recommend him getting a little practice tying slip knots and the like...also some kind of restraints on wrists and ankles so you can get a sense of how tight and how long works for you before you start going blue in your extremities!

But why not just start a simple play at home...have him stretch you over the kitchen table and tie your ankles and wrists down...then as he moves about making dinner or whatever and then you can progress things from there. He might choose to eat his dinner of you i that psition while softly torturing your womanly parts!

J

[phragmites]

Hey thanks Jaro! I love the kitchen table idea... yum!! :-) I think he'd like that too.

[Rob'sGurl]

Good luck...sounds like it will be fun!

And that's the main thing - keep it fun...and work on keeping it simple too. Yeah the dungeon will have lots of stuff you've not got at home...but that just means you've lots of reasons for repeat visits. You shouldn't feel you need to 'master' (sorry) everything on the first go. In fact, you both probably will feel that a little experimentation will go a long way the first few times.

As far as the idea of switching roles...well why not so long as you can both be comfortable with it. Maybe what might work better is simply to play around with a few ideas and talk them through. For example, sounds like you're interested in the points for bondage and hanging in the dungeon and this certainly can be worked on at home. Work out which positions you both enjoy the most...especially those that for you feel the most submissive. That way you'll have an idea of what you want before you enter the dungeon. From my experience I recommend him getting a little practice tying slip knots and the like...also some kind of restraints on wrists and ankles so you can get a sense of how tight and how long works for you before you start going blue in your extremities!

But why not just start a simple play at home...have him stretch you over the kitchen table and tie your ankles and wrists down...then as he moves about making dinner or whatever and then you can progress things from there. He might choose to eat his dinner of you i that psition while softly torturing your womanly parts!

J

ooooooo I loveeeee that suggestion.