I'm His slave... but I want to Domme her

[scarlet_85]

I had no clue where to post this...

I recently found out a very close friend of mine was into BDSM. I have always found her extremely awesome to be around. She's beautiful, smart, has a great smile... and now I know she likes to submit!

In my short time of being His slave, I have never really had a desire to Domme over anyone. And in all honesty, she is the only one that I have a complete desire to Domme. I have expressed this to her and she is very open to the idea. In fact, she welcomes it.

I have talked to my Master about it on several different occasions. The only stipulations be that He gets to watch and Him and I would never switch. I really have no problem with that. He even offered to guide me to be the best Domme I could be for her.

My struggle is that I don't know if I have it in me to Dominate another person. I'm not a switch... I know this. I think I really just want to try it once and above all.... her. Simple as that. I already genuinely love and care about her on a friendship level and I feel that with all the things I've already fantasized about doing to/with her, I should just fulfill the fantasy. Right? Or, is this another one of those things that should just be left as a fantasy? In all reality, I've always wanted a knowledge of all the different areas of BDSM and have shown respect for every possible kink... even if I didn't understand it.

So, any words of advice? And please don't be shy when replying!! I love that people are straight forward in here.

[denuseri]

There is nothing stipulating that you cant explore this with her...so long as all involved partners are consenting,sane and safe that is.

[LadyArana]

In my opinion, you should pursue your fantasy of dominating her, because if you don't, you'll be left wondering, "what if?" Personally, I hate the what ifs. It seems as though your Master is supportive of you pursuing this fantasy as well, and that is a wonderful thing. My advice? Go for it.

[scarlet_85]

You are both right. And the what ifs do suck. I think part of the reason I want to do it as much as I do is because He is supportive of it. Even now as I think about it, I could never Domme a male. I don't really know why, but her... Omg.

[denuseri]

the thing is though Im guessing that your really worried about is...your worried that it will irevocably change your relationship, your friendshiop with her and prhaps even with your Master?

[Ozme52]

You need to negotiate with her first...

She may or may not want him involved. What if she does but more than you're willing and then upon learning that, he wants more too.
Let's assume she's okay with his proposed level of participation. You may come to find you don't want to share (her) with him, even to watch. Or he may want to change his level of participation as things get hotter and heavier.

All those things must be considered. Are you to be independent in your Domme mode? Is he allowed to call the submissive you into service if you are domming her? You need to define boundaries. What if you enjoy it and want to explore domming a boy toy?

Beyond that, go for it. If it sucks, (in the bad sense of the word,) at least you won't wonder in the future. But more likely it will be great.

But remember... as you grow, so will your other relationships... and they will never be the same. They may be better. They may be worse. But they will change. (but they'll change regardless... so go for it.)

[scarlet_85]

You need to negotiate with her first...

She may or may not want him involved. What if she does but more than you're willing and then upon learning that, he wants more too.
Let's assume she's okay with his proposed level of participation. You may come to find you don't want to share (her) with him, even to watch. Or he may want to change his level of participation as things get hotter and heavier.

All those things must be considered. Are you to be independent in your Domme mode? Is he allowed to call the submissive you into service if you are domming her? You need to define boundaries. What if you enjoy it and want to explore domming a boy toy?

Beyond that, go for it. If it sucks, (in the bad sense of the word,) at least you won't wonder in the future. But more likely it will be great.

But remember... as you grow, so will your other relationships... and they will never be the same. They may be better. They may be worse. But they will change. (but they'll change regardless... so go for it.)

Oh, how I love your input, Oz.

She has agreed to him watching. However, I get the impression that her interests in the situation are solely based on a "connection" between her and I. So, if halfway through the session, my Master decides that he wants to step in, I feel it might ruin her experience. Based off what she has told me, her BDSM sessions have involved bondage and rape scene scenarios. Yes, painful pleasure would be a factor, but I think I would take it to a higher level for her. Also, its not that I wouldn't want to share her... its him that I wouldn't want to share. The idea of watching my Master... my Dom... my Love... dominate another female hurts. I would greatly struggle with that.

If I did Domme her, I would be independent. There would be no teaming up on her. The only thing that has been mentioned is that after I am done with her, he would want her to sit back and watch while he Doms me. This actually comes off as a strange request simply because he has stated so many times that he doesn't want to share me... even if it was just being watched. I'm thinking that my friendship with her, with the level that its ay, is what has made him bend his own rule. He is quite aware of how much she means to me. As far as a boy toy goes... it is an absolute no. On both our parts. I am his and he is mine. With my Domme fantasy, he is supportive on a one time only level.

Both you and denuseri have pointed out relationship change. I will be the first to admit that I fear this. I don't want to lose a friend and above all... I will not be ok with tension between my Master and I. He means far more to me than any fantasy or sexual desire.

In my head I see the session being something great. I feel that her and I would grow very close from it both mentally and physically. I really can't find any negatives on it. Just a fear of altering relationships to a point where they fall apart. Being as its consensual in every aspect, I hardly believe that anything will change too dramatically. I will understand Domination better at the end and have a greater respect for it.

[FaerieLytes]

i envy you for the situation... o.o so yeah... i may be new but here is my input, 1. go for it if you feel in your heart and mind that it is something you want GO FOR IT. 2. refer to number 1
XD

ehem... i am only Domme to women, and only sub to Men, its just how it is.

oh and the reason He wants her to watch its a very obvious thing to me o.o he wants to assure her that no matter what, he owns you. its a territory thing. just my opinion on it...

[Ozme52]

oh and the reason He wants her to watch its a very obvious thing to me o.o he wants to assure her that no matter what, he owns you. its a territory thing. just my opinion on it...

Perhaps. Perhaps not. I think it's more sexual, about showing ones prowess... and were it me, it would be about being the center of both submissive's attention. I play publically and revel in the sighs of submissives wishing they were lucky enough to be under my lash. Go read my "A Connection" thread and perhaps "Rough Fucking" and experience the "equivalent" reactions in this online environment to get an idea of why a dominant might "share" his thoughts and deeds and you'll have an idea of what I am trying to convey.

[DowntownAmber]

What are this woman's thoughts on watching your Master Dom you after her session with you?

Both Faerie and Oz have interesting opinions as to your Master's motivations in regard to his request, but I'd be more curious as to her take on it. If (as Faerie suggests) this is a "territory thing," I know as your friend in this situation I personally would be a little put off. I'd be offended that the obvious point of "I am still scarlet's Master" had to be driven home in such a fashion.

If on the other hand it's a matter of sexual revelry, of wanting to be the center of the submissives' attention, that would still feel a little odd to me were I your friend. Play in a public setting is one thing, as would be her asking to watch the two of you - that implies she's interested to begin with. But requesting she watch as part of the deal if it's truly not her thing? That could be awkward. As much as I personally like being dominated, watching it happen to someone else inspires nothing in me short of a mild academic interest. Having two people in the room sharing a deeply sexual and personal experience while the other wonders what's next in her Netflix queue may not be the desired result.

Long story short, talk it out and make sure everyone knows what they're getting into (as much as is possible, anyway). Have fun!

[scarlet_85]

I have yet to talk to her on any of this since I last posted :/ I'm terrible... I know. lol

I think Oz is right though. When I read his thread "A Connection" I was envious of all that his sub had experienced while sitting at lunch! However, I have experienced all of that with my own Master. I think part of the reason I was so drawn to that thread was because: 1. I could relate and 2. Mmmmmmm I think knowing that somebody desires to be in your position is flattering. Even the girl I want to Domme has said many times that she wishes she had what I do. So, when I find out if she's down to watch Him Dom me, we will go from there. And if she's not, than we won't have an audience when he throws my collar on me.

I will post an update when I have one. Thanks all for your input

[Ozme52]

I will post an update when I have one. Thanks all for your input

Hopefully sooner rather than later. weg