Jealousy

[Brkndrgn]

Jealously is a beast, that's for sure. My Dom is poly, even though we agreed when we got together that we would be monogamous. It's still hard though, I feel like I phase into the Hulk everytime another female gets within ten feet of him regardless of if he notices her or not.

But like someone else said, you need to figure out where exactly the jealousy comes from before you can work to control it. Mine comes from a few places: 1- the absolute certainty that I'm not enough to hold his interest crops up every so often, 2- pure vanity because he's a tall, hot musician that could have anyone he wants and I'm an overweight short girl with a big mouth and a bitchy attitude. My jealousy comes from my own insecurity, not from things that he does, so I know it's something I have to strangle because he can't help me with it. You just need to find your niche in his life and remember that that place belongs only to you, that no one can take it.

That being said, I have one thing to add about the poly lifestyle. No offense to anyone is meant, so please don't drag me into a proverbial alley and kick my ass. I've been in poly relationships and this is my take on it: the only way it works is if everyone is poly. Eventually, in my experience, if a monogamous person is in a poly situation, it will become too hard to deal and the relationship will have to end. So that's something you need to explore as well, make sure you can handle being one of many. Slave or not, that's still a decision you have to make. Poly is hard, it takes a lot of will to maintain that lifestyle, so make sure you want to put in the time.

[propertyofslavehaven]

I do know where my jealousy comes from. It comes from thinking im not good enough for him and he can find someone else that can serve him better than me. Master reasures me constantly that isnt the case and I am his number one. That is what I have been working on; my insecurities. Its something I have to do myself and Master can not help me with this. believe me he has tried. I will always be jealous because my love, devotion and dedication for him is more than words can say. I just got to learn how to deal with my jealousy in the correct manor when it comes out. Im making progress and doing great with it, but it is one of those things that will always be hard and its also one of those things that makes him see how much i love and worship him. I will never get tired of doing that.

[denuseri]

I do not recommend in any circumstances D/s M/s Gorean/ oldschool/ fetball/ furry etc or otherwise, that a new partner be introduced into any kind of relationship without the express and full consent / 100% approval of any and ALL partners involved, and yes that most certifiably includes live in owned slaves as well.

If one partner, regardless of status within the relationship dynamic revokes consent or isnt comfortable with giving or having given it then poof! its SSC 101, administrative timeout what have you, all play, all dominating and submitting etc is done until the issue whatever it may be is either resolved or new dynamic is agreed upon or the relationship is terminated.



If you have issues or have developed issues: with sharing, or poly or really anything from no boobie torture before 3pm to no bdsm in front of the uninitiated or no tickle torture for hard limits etc ....then voice them, insist upon them prior to play and if a condition arises later...voice it too, dont let things slide or get all "but I live to serve I have to do it" mush mush...cause all your doing by going down that road is a diservice to yourself and your other partners.

[propertyofslavehaven]

Why do I feel jealous when I trust my Master completely and love him unconditionly? Its torcher for him and me.

[thir]

Why do I feel jealous when I trust my Master completely and love him unconditionly? Its torcher for him and me.

I think it is because the feeling does not come from him, but from inside you. Meaning, it does not matter how much you trusth him, if you have a little 'enemy' inside which cannot find peace. You'd have to heal that first.

Does that make sense?

[thir]

I do not recommend in any circumstances D/s M/s Gorean/ oldschool/ fetball/ furry etc or otherwise, that a new partner be introduced into any kind of relationship without the express and full consent / 100% approval of any and ALL partners involved, and yes that most certifiably includes live in owned slaves as well.

If one partner, regardless of status within the relationship dynamic revokes consent or isnt comfortable with giving or having given it then poof! its SSC 101, administrative timeout what have you, all play, all dominating and submitting etc is done until the issue whatever it may be is either resolved or new dynamic is agreed upon or the relationship is terminated.



If you have issues or have developed issues: with sharing, or poly or really anything from no boobie torture before 3pm to no bdsm in front of the uninitiated or no tickle torture for hard limits etc ....then voice them, insist upon them prior to play and if a condition arises later...voice it too, dont let things slide or get all "but I live to serve I have to do it" mush mush...cause all your doing by going down that road is a diservice to yourself and your other partners.

Absolutely right.

[denuseri]

I've been in poly relationships and this is my take on it: the only way it works is if everyone is poly. Eventually, in my experience, if a monogamous person is in a poly situation, it will become too hard to deal and the relationship will have to end.

I agree for the most part with this...in my experience even when I was in a typical D/s+

(one dom and two or more submissives situation)

...in all the ones that worked for any length of time: we girls often messed around with each other both in "his" presence and outside of it at will.

Sometimes all it takes for a poly situation to go wrong is for new partner to be mono at heart or worse introduced from outside of the original group as a "friend" (someone they have been fucking behind the groups back on the sly being the absolute worse case) of one of the pre-existing partners and then have one or more partners agree to the addition but only to not make the dominat partner uncomfortable because they have such strong feelings for him etc.

[thir]

Jealously is a beast, that's for sure. My Dom is poly, even though we agreed when we got together that we would be monogamous. It's still hard though, I feel like I phase into the Hulk everytime another female gets within ten feet of him regardless of if he notices her or not.


That being said, I have one thing to add about the poly lifestyle. No offense to anyone is meant, so please don't drag me into a proverbial alley and kick my ass. I've been in poly relationships and this is my take on it: the only way it works is if everyone is poly. Eventually, in my experience, if a monogamous person is in a poly situation, it will become too hard to deal and the relationship will have to end. So that's something you need to explore as well, make sure you can handle being one of many. Slave or not, that's still a decision you have to make. Poly is hard, it takes a lot of will to maintain that lifestyle, so make sure you want to put in the time.

I have to agree with you on that. It is not a good situation, much like a vanilla and a bdsm person. But the reason you can end up there is the same as with a vanilla and a bdsm: that you do not realize from the start what you are all about. So it was with me and again - I agree, not good!

May I ask, why you changed from mono to poly if that was not the plan? Same problem?