Why do many BDSM people look down on switches?

[Mothra!!!]

At the risk of making myself instant persona non grata, why do we care so much? A personal level of comfort with my own needs/desires, feelings, and identity and the companionship of kindred spirits is, imo, far more likely to bring me happiness and fun than seeking the validation of others who can't relate to me.

...if a person is truly secure in his/her/hir identity as a switch....

Well, that's sorta my point too

But unless I'm reading the entire thread wrong, it sounds like thir and others have been frustrated by trying to interact merely on a casual level with folks who can't even grasp the concept of being a switch. That gets tiresome after you've run into it enough times, especially when you're just looking for some friendly discussion on an email list or are trying to socialize at a munch. Having encountered similar attitudes in an entirely different context, I can sympathize.

But you're right: ultimately you've got to do what makes you happy and content and ignore the naysayers.

[ghostgirl]

Well, that's sorta my point too

i didn't miss it, Mothra

[thir]

..unless I'm reading the entire thread wrong, it sounds like thir and others have been frustrated by trying to interact merely on a casual level with folks who can't even grasp the concept of being a switch. That gets tiresome after you've run into it enough times, especially when you're just looking for some friendly discussion on an email list or are trying to socialize at a munch. Having encountered similar attitudes in an entirely different context, I can sympathize.

My point exactly, and I am not used to that where I come from and so was seeking an explanation, plus I think that there is enough pressure on non-mainstream people that we should stick together. Thirdly, I do not like the tendency by some to be one-wayish and down talk other kinds of paths because, as I have seen and read, newcomers at times try desperately to fit into a box where they really do not belong, because they have been told that that is the way to be. It can be heart-wrenching to listen to and makes me furious.

But you're right: ultimately you've got to do what makes you happy and content and ignore the naysayers.

I agree, that is the way to do it. Never mind the self-appointed 'nobility' and dogma, let's be heretics ;-)