the role of punishment

[snowflake]

If I see this correctly I find that there are two major ways in which punishment is used in bdsm:

It is used to, and I quote Ragoczy (in a post that gave me inspiration for this thread),

In this case punishment should not be enjoyed by the sub, because obviously the sub should learn from it and not want to be punished again.

But on the other hand, punishment is seen as part of a role play where one (acts that he/she) has done something wrong and therefore has to be punished by the Dom(me). In this case the punishment is often something the sub enjoys like being tied up and spanked.


Probably everyone has his/her own vision about punishment, so I'm wondering how do you use punishment?

I don't really see why people want to use punishments that the sub doesn't enjoy, because that would take the fun out of the play, wouldn't it? Or maybe it is just my vision that it should be fun for both.

That is like saying a child should enjoy their punishment when bad...

Subs are punished when they misbehave... when they show lack of respect to their Dom/me and have to be corrected ..

In a proper s/D relationship that is a good portion for it's existence... To Obey.. To respect.. And never ever defy his/hers Dom/mes wishes or wants... If a sub does this against her Dom/me... especially under contract or agreement.. then it is cause for punishment that will change the out look and response of the subs actions so it will never happen again... Thus it must be something the sub does not like... and if severe enough .. it should push their hard limits...

But on the other hand, punishment is seen as part of a roleplay where one (acts that he/she) has done something wrong and therefore has to be punished by the Dom(me). In this case the punishment is often something the sub enjoys like being tied up and spanked.

In this statement the keyword is "Role Play" It is play and not true punishment.. It is an act that is supposed to be fun as it is play..


Maybe that will help you understand the difference between the two punishments samm.. I hope i have helped and that others will give you their opinion..

Just my opinion

hugs
snow

[samm]

As sirtacit already said, I see that there are some different points of view from different people, so it is a really usefull topic to discuss
I also see that the way punishment is experienced differs for different subs and Doms so it is important to understand eachother well.

So I think that if there is a need to punish a sub in a way that he or she doesn't enjoy, obviously the sub did something to upset his/her Dom(me) and there may have been some miscommunication when discussing what both of you want out of your play.

That is like saying a child should enjoy their punishment when bad...

I am not saying a child should enjoy their punishment when bad, but the first reason for doing bdsm is because you enjoy it, so I prefer punishment to be used in the sense of roleplay, being secretely enjoyed by the sub.

how do you use punishment?

I don't have experience with punishing someone else myself, but I think this answers the question how I would use punishment or how I prefer to be punished.

Anyway it is interesting to see all your thoughts about punishments

[Ozme52]

As sirtacit already said, I see that there are some different points of view from different people, so it is a really usefull topic to discuss
I also see that the way punishment is experienced differs for different subs and Doms so it is important to understand eachother well.

So I think that if there is a need to punish a sub in a way that he or she doesn't enjoy, obviously the sub did something to upset his/her Dom(me) and there may have been some miscommunication when discussing what both of you want out of your play.


I am not saying a child should enjoy their punishment when bad, but the first reason for doing bdsm is because you enjoy it, so I prefer punishment to be used in the sense of roleplay, being secretely enjoyed by the sub.


I don't have experience with punishing someone else myself, but I think this answers the question how I would use punishment or how I prefer to be punished.

Anyway it is interesting to see all your thoughts about punishments

This belies that you aren't using the word 'punishment' in the same way as virtually everyone else in the lifestyle.

There is discipline and order to be gained from the lifestyle, which creates opportunities to make mistakes or be disobedient... and hence punishment.

If it's part of the play, and we DO play, we're not suggesting otherwise, but if is part of playing, it is not really punishment.

I spank because I enjoy it. I spank because she enjoys it. Spanking is never about punishing her for a misdeed.

[annie]

This belies that you aren't using the word 'punishment' in the same way as virtually everyone else in the lifestyle.

There is discipline and order to be gained from the lifestyle, which creates opportunities to make mistakes or be disobedient... and hence punishment.

If it's part of the play, and we DO play, we're not suggesting otherwise, but if is part of playing, it is not really punishment.

I spank because I enjoy it. I spank because she enjoys it. Spanking is never about punishing her for a misdeed.

Exactly... i agree with Oz and to muddy the waters even further, I learned recently that apparently for me (currently) there is "punishment" which is for a willful act of wrong that i did and "correction" which is the removal of a right for something that was not willful but still not acceptable either. Personally, I see both as "punishment" with one not being as severe at the other. Although I know 2 people who would disagree with me on that definition! Either way I don't see either of those as "play." Play is fun and lighthearted. Punishment or correction gives a sinking almost sick feeling in the pit of the stomach at the thought that one has disappointed for whatever reason.