I think unless you're looking for a sexual submissive that doesn't come with the strings of a relationship, then you should look for a human being first and a submissive second. I'm a 19 year old sub, and my Dom is also my boyfriend and my best friend. He was a virgin when we started dating so it took me a lot of time to build up the courage to let him know about my sexual desires. We started with vanilla sex and slowly I began revealing a few fantasies until one day I just out and explained to him what I wanted in a sexual relationship- knowing that even if he wasn't comfortable with it, he wouldn't judge me because he loves me. Turns out I was right :-) It took him some time to warm up to the idea and we're still taking it slow (he just recently sent me to sub space for the first time, it was ridiculously exciting), but through open and honest communication we're building not only an incredible sex life but a fantastic love life. The point I'm trying to get at is that we are young and a lot of people our age might not even have any clue what BDSM is. By looking past someone who might not seem perfectly submissive at first glance, you could be depriving yourself of exploring an entire new journey into submission with a beautiful soul who didn't know it was exactly what she wanted in her life. Not to say that will always be the case, but you never know.