Quote Originally Posted by Strypi's beast View Post

How does submission make you feel?

It makes me calm, I give myself to someone I trust, and trust comes hard for me, and I don't feel like all the weight is on my shoulders but our shoulders. It makes me feel helpful and adored. However, I have been with a Dom who didn't make me feel helpful or adored! lol, so I am now with someone who lets me just be me and enjoy the love we share.

Why do you submit?
Because I don't want to be the leader, I want to be by the leaders side giving suggestions.

How do you resist arguing?
We talk it out, and I like the punishments, I feel that if I start complaining they would stop... and I don't want it to end. However, In every relationship there will always be issues, and some of those issues don't have anything to do with bdsm and has everything to do with a relationship. For us, these issues are a totally separate category.

Another issue I personally had, and I'm not sure if you're having these same feelings, Is being a perfectionist, and beating myself up when things weren't perfect. My Dom just is really good at putting me at ease. rather than punishments it's embracing one another for our faults... and having that time to share that love makes me less argumentative. He is my constant reminder that this is supposed to be fun, and if it's not fun for the majority of the time then it's not working.

Any advice?
Take things more slowly perhaps? Decide what -you- like about being submissive, and talk to your Domme about taking things more slowly as you experiment. Also decide what type of BDSM relationship works for the both of you; some people like 24/7, others like a bit of a mix, and some just want it in the bedroom, or only sometimes... all of these ways are fine and each relationship will be different. Also, for me writing down some of my ideas, or scenarios I want to try and sharing them with my Dom works wonders!