I don't think there's one way to do it. . .I also don't ever think it is an easy thing to do. I have triggers, I have baggage, and most of the time, I won't tell people about it and I will do my best to hide it. Not saying I even think that is the right thing to do, but I have trust issues.

I can say because of my past and my partner's past, we went without sex for 6 months at least. by that time we had talked about his issues, he knew some of mine. and I think we both took a leap of faith, so to speak, and tried. I think even to this day, over a year later, Sir expects me to turn around after having sex with him and tell him he sucks. And I'm expecting to wake up and have him tell me to get out of his life.

For me it's "never ending", I have to daily work on it and push myself to take those steps to trust. It was only in the last month I broke down and told him something I've never told anyone before. took me 2 hours and lots of tears to do it, but i felt better afterward. My only thought is time, trust, and working towards being able to get to that point where you can be safe in your own mind to tell the other person "hey i might have some triggers come up. . . " and for me I usually end with "and i don't want you to treat me any differently because of these triggers."

For me being treated like anyone else is a big deal, because so many times I've seen the looks change in people's eyes when they find out. The same goes for my partner in crime. She goes out of her way to show someone how she is as a person, after a few weeks she'll tell them "...btw I also deal with XXXX" and they almost never believe her because the idea general society has in their minds about people like her and i are not . . .very correct about us.

I hope this helped just a lil, I'm not totally sure as i finish with these thoughts on the topic