I discovered masturbation early, maybe around 5, and right after that I discovered fantasies. In my fantasies the girls were crawling, pulling carts, being abused by me but I also put myself in their place, being both dom and sub at the same time. Mainly so I could feel what I was doing to them and enjoy their humiliation and discomfort. (Yeah sounds weird when I type it out). I knew it was unusual and worried I was going to hell for those thoughts, but I didn't stop and eventually realized it wasn't a bad thing, just different. I knew what I wanted but I was raised to respect women and to never treat them badly and never ever force them. (values I still hold today, strange as it may sound) I really never expected to find someone in real life that would enjoy having me do the things I longed to do. When the (pre) internet came along, I started finding like minded people and a whole new world opened up. Maybe because my first experiences were online, I enjoy it as much or even more at times than real life encounters. It is a very different dynamic. I envy some of the people here who can explain things so elegantly, I always feel like I write too much and say too little. Every dom is different, every sub a unique treasure and I so love learning from all of them.