BDSM means Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. There is no One True Way (trademark) to do anything. We pick up what feels comfortable, and leave what doesn't.

For example, S/M is all about giving and receiving pain, but D/s doesn't even have to involve any sort of pain. The clothes you wear don't matter- you're not required to have a collar or leather clothes- and you certainly don't have to act like anyone except for who you really are. Submission generally requires a specific mindset of wanting to submit (or to be made to submit, depending on your specific relationship) to a dominant partner. TPE is where the submissive hands the power entirely over to the dominant- it stands for Total Power Exchange. In my way of thinking, that is how the Master/slave dynamic works. Others may disagree, and they're welcome to- it's just how I have it sorted in my head.

Generally speaking, a service-oriented submissive is one who submits in such a way that is dedicated to the service of their dominant partner. This may include domestic duties (think '50's housewife), professional services (working for the partner at his/her business, giving your professional services/advice/etc), or personal services (hygiene/pampering).

The best thing to do is not to worry about those labels at all, and just focus on what turns you on. I would start by looking for a list of kinks/fetishes and define the things you would never do (this is called a hard limit- everyone has them) and things that sound interesting to you. As you learn more about yourself and your needs, it will be easier to convey to others what kind of a label you might carry.

I love labels, personally. I know it's trendy to try and buck labels, but how else would I know what's in all my cans? Is it peaches or is it green beans? But not everyone wants to display who they are like that, and that's cool too. I guess the bottom line is that you don't have to be anything, except it's usually to everyone's benefit (especially your own) if you're honest. I hope this helps!