I realize that this is an old thread, but I really wanted to answer this question.

I've had more Dom/mes than I care to think about. For nearly three years, my life was 24/7 BDSM with Dom/mes of all types. I won't lie to you, that didn't really do it for me. I loved the pain, but there was nothing beyond that. They only existed while they were hurting me, I had no interest or need for them outside of that. As soon as I reached that point where pain became numb, I was completely out of sub-space and wanted nothing more than to get away.

My current Dom and I aren't 24/7 players, but he's different from anyone I've ever met. He's a Dom regardless of whether we're in play or not, there's this sense of being owned by him and owning him in return that I've never had before. I think the biggest reason he's actually my Dom and not just some faceless idea with a whip is that he's the first man I've ever felt safe with no matter what. It's almost like we share the same mind. He can tell in a single glance what i need whether it's play, just rough sex, just a gentle caress or a swift bite on my neck.

Your Dom/me is your Dom/me because he/she can reach you on a level no one else can. He/she can bring out things about who you are that you never knew existed. In most ways, it's no different from a normal relationship (for lack of a better euphamism): you find a person that gives you something you need and desire and it works out between you.

Anyway, just my thought for an interesting dead thread