Actually; especially when your new, you shouldnt be worrying about titular distinctions so much as increasing your knowledge base with an emphasis on saftey over kink and reality over fantasy. Getting cuaght up too much in eaither of the later can lead to all sorts of problems. You have plenty of time to figure out where you will fit in best later after you know more.

I am sure there are things you dont want to try...like necrophilia, or anything with kids, or actual snuff etc. Everyone has limits and one need not actually try everything to know them if they use some common sence.

I especially advise against you finding any single online personality to mentor you. Especially the ones that only want to help you in pm/whisper lol besides, you cant really know who your dealing with in this medium, not for sure. So its best to get your information from multiple sources. And its highly advisable to not share your personal information (like location, face pictures, addressess, phone numbers, passwords, etc etc eaither...once stalked, twice shy). If some online dom is insisting on these things...he is most likely not on the up and up if you know what I mean.

Contacting one's local bdsm community is simple: type the name of your city and the word munch into your search engine and you will most likely get a listing of bdsm intrest groups in your community, most meet at a coffee shop or some other public venue once a month or so to exchange ideas etc...(word to the wise dont come dressed in fetishwear, dress normal just like everyone else would to go to a coffee shop), most majior cities have at least one bdsm club in or near them...like 1763 in Atlanta for instance...these clubs can be found in similar fashion and one should contact the club owners to find out what the protocols are as they sometimes vary.