cravings??

[caligirl22]

So...i was on this site before when i had first found out i was a
subbie. And i met a great Dom and had a wonderful online relationship
for a number of months. We are still close, since he knows and
understand me better than anyone else. However, things ended because i
want/need to feel things in real life at this point.

Now that being said - obviously it is hard to find a Dom for a real
life relationship. we ended a year ago, and since then my life has been
D/s free. *sad face*
The problem is that more and more i feel like i get urges -- i dont
know if i would say urges for "pain"...but very intense urges for...
something, to feel something/anything.
i want to know if other subbies get "cravings" for D/s when
they are "in between" Dom/mes? Is this normal??

Right now, my only solution is to go running lol. Only after a running
some miles do the feelings subside. Obviously there is no subsitute
for the real deal, but i am curious if there are any other "remedies"
subs have found to keep them sane (!!) and from making a hasty decision,
like rushing into things with the first Dom that presents him/herself?

Sorry, i just really needed and outlet to ask this, i have been
wondering a while...
Thanks for any replies!

[Dejah Thoris]

I most definitely do, I joked to my LD partner that I go into "heat" every few months. Because I do not have a current RL partner to help with my urges, it just results in a long session of self-bondage/satsifaction. This is the first time I've read of someone with a similar sutiation, I appreciate your asking.

[caligirl22]

I most definitely do, I joked to my LD partner that I go into "heat" every few months. Because I do not have a current RL partner to help with my urges, it just results in a long session of self-bondage/satsifaction. This is the first time I've read of someone with a similar sutiation, I appreciate your asking.

Thank you so much for your response!! *big smiles*
i was really beggining to worry!
Going into "heat" lol, that is a great, and funny way to put it!
Again, i really appreciate your response. It is good to know someone else
experiences a similar thing!
But self-bondage, huh?...*grin*

[brwneydgirl]

The problem is that more and more i feel like i get urges -- i dont
know if i would say urges for "pain"...but very intense urges for...
something, to feel something/anything.
i want to know if other subbies get "cravings" for D/s when
they are "in between" Dom/mes? Is this normal??

Yep. I'd say it's completely normal. You want something you're not getting...so, you dwell on it and think on it waaaay more than you're comfortable with. You read about it and maybe even dream about it and talk to other people about it.

Well, that's all me.....but you get the picture, right?

In my case, I see someone locally...when it's been too long between visits, yes, I feel sort of "needy" and craving. I'm not sure those urges or cravings will ever go away---unless you were getting it every freaking day. *shrugs*

[Jennifer Williams]

Thank you so much for your response!! *big smiles*
i was really beggining to worry!
Going into "heat" lol, that is a great, and funny way to put it!
Again, i really appreciate your response. It is good to know someone else
experiences a similar thing!
But self-bondage, huh?...*grin*

Self lots of stuff...mastrubation can be deliciously yummy (though I myself get lonely afterwards; I don't know if other women feel the same way). Just be very careful with self-bondage; you have to be sure you can escape, and in a hurry, in case something goes wrong (stove catches on fire, parents come to visit, whatever). There are a lot of safety issues to be concerned with if you're by yourself- but lots of people do self-bondage and lots of other kinds of "self" stuff. Totally normal.

As far as cravings go, I know what you mean- I forced myself to suffer in a vanilla relationship for a number of years, and I think that was even worse than being alone. My way of coping was writing, nearly every delicious fantasy I've ever had is on my computer somewhere, lol.

Oh, and even though now I get plenty of yumminess in real life nearly every day- I still get cravings all the time. ; P

[serviam {PixieStick}]

Your post really resonated with me for a couple of reasons. Just yesterday I was contemplating the very thing you mentioned, the cravings to be involved in a D/s relationship - the need really for an outlet for the experience and expression of the submissive nature. For me too it has been just over a year since my last involvement. I actually think the cravings you spoke of was what brought me here to the Library recently. I needed to at least feel a connection with others in the lifestyle. The other interesting thing is that I'm also a runner and running has helped me deal with these feelings too.

I never really lose touch with my submissive nature nor doubt that I am submissive even in the in between times when I don't have a person in my life to submit to, yet you do over time really began to long for that because I suppose we just aren't being all that we can be as a submissive when we aren't actively offering that for someone's benefit. So, yes I am definitely another one who has felt those cravings and believes them to be a perfectly normal part of who we are.

[SilverMist]

I think craving comes with being submissive. I think that what makes us submissive *shrugs*
I am living with my Master and have been for almost a year. Things are going great. We dont always get into actions and yet I crave for it all the time. Timing is an issue sometime. So yes I find that very normal for submissive to crave those things.

[SlaveWithOwner]

Phew..i'm normal after all lol Thanks to OP and for replies. I'm very much in heat myself at mo and was worried about making some foolish decisions with a new online Dom!! Self-awareness really helps keep safe. Cheers x

[denuseri]

Of course it is normal to crave it and the running most likely is helping becuase it cuases endorphins to be released.

[thir]

The problem is that more and more i feel like i get urges -- i dont
know if i would say urges for "pain"...but very intense urges for...
something, to feel something/anything.
i want to know if other subbies get "cravings" for D/s when
they are "in between" Dom/mes? Is this normal??

Yes!!
You can go absolutely crazy with longing and lust, and as you say, it can be a safety
problem if you give in to it without being selective about who you do it with.

How to live with it? As others have said, I can only say workouts, masturbation, writing fantasies. Other than that, find a good club, and get the worst out of your system with one night stands. The risk here is falling seriously in love with the first good partner you have (if a partnership is not possible), and later on it might feel lonely, like masturbation is for some.

But it might keep you sane until the right one comes along..
Good luck.

BTW, you get cravings with Dom/mes as well, just in another way ;-)

[thir]

I think craving comes with being submissive. I think that what makes us submissive *shrugs*

You think Dom/mes do not have cravings?
Wrong! ;-))

[wyldrose]

Yep, i can only second what everybody else has said thus far. i agree with the exercise idea though, i find that i need a really heavy exercise session when i'm in a bad subdrop or just plain craving pain. We can really be endorphin addicts sometimes, us subs!

[ickleimi]

I will admit I threw my self from master to dom and back again at some point. Any dominant there was in the area that was male met me, it may feel okay in the short term but trust me youll feel guilty after! But yes we all get cravings dealing with them? no idea! what about self bondage?

[Heavyhand]

Nothing a good whipping couldn't handle. I will take you to places you haven't experienced. Heavyhand is just that....Heavyhanded whip and other tools to bend your mind. Reply when you want to test. HH!

[caligirl22]

Thank all yall for the amazing responses!! Definately great to know i am not alone in feeling this way!
And good luck to all those still searching! "hugs and kisses"