For me its useful to do two things to switch my mind. One is to take a minute to myself. Maybe she needs to go home and take a shower or paint her toenails. Something that slows her thoughts down. Also i found it easier to have a object, like a collar or necklace or bracelet that i could put on and that made it "time in" for submission and provided a ever present reminder.

She can also kneel to you when you get home but in the bedroom. Tell the kids your gonna go cuddle for 15 minutes.

You can also give her a task to do every evening to forcer her to take time and think of her submission. Just little 5 minute things like writing a love letter on her body to you, Having a mantra she has to say even if its just while shes showering. Enforcing some sort of journaling or writing assignments. Wearing pins on her labia under clothes, rope around her waist, slave bells, or no bra at all. Administering to her self a enema. Wearing kegal balls or a vibe before you get home.

Having her defer to you is a good step also bring up the idea that she has to get permission for things. Also even though shes independant in some parts of her life you can involve yourself in these and tell her she must ask questions and get advice from you.

Setting a easy goal for her every night even if its just clean the counters. Regularly reward her if she exceeds your expectations. Limit and control something small like how much coke, coffee or internet she has. Make a game of it like 1 blow job per desert. Order for her in a restaurant. Whisper commands or naughty things in her ear often. Make her serve you in some way like washing your feet.