Sounds like some pretty hardcore social anxiety there, boss.

Sometimes you just have to consider what life would be without risk. I sympathize completely. As far as meeting people, that can be done in neutral places, with precautions taken to reduce risk. Also meeting someone for conversation and lunch does not necessarily lead to sex, and I don't believe you'll find any greater percentage of people with diseases in the bdsm community than you would in the vanilla one.

take precautions, and then take a chance.