It's called "be the change you want to see". I always said it was the only kind of activism I could do. Then I discovered it could be as dangerous as standing up to police lines or getting in the way of whalers... but I'm not sorry.
My late wife and I had the same kind of reactions as yours to her working and me staying home and looking after the house and baby... and the joke was, she was my slave. But those of our friends who knew, in general terms, that we had a BDSM relationship, automatically assumed she dominated me.