i was married to my Husband/Master/Owner and the day before our 25 yr. anniversary, He passed away from Lung Cancer...He found out on His birthday and 10 months later was gone. You would seem to think that because His death wasn't all of a sudden and there was 10 months there, that one can become more prepared for it but, that's not true. It still hits you like a ton of bricks! Just two days ago was the 5th yr. anniversary of His death and He is still very much missed and will always be a part of my heart. One thing that came out of it though, was an appreciation for each new day. i've been with my Owner now for seven months and never does a day go by that i don't tell Him, i love Him and i cherish every minute, as if it was the last, cause you never know...it could be! Huge hugs to you ian!! Ahhhh, not used to posting like this, just felt the need..i suppose!