sweetie, I've been in a similar position before... I actually continued to be a play partner with my ex-Dom/boyfriend after the relationship ended. I kept telling myself it was because we knew each other physically so therefore knew better how to 'get each other off' and which buttons to press etc. etc.

In the end it's awkward because this lifestyle is entwined into our 'nilla' relationships and it goes on dissociative to them too (hence the above, still playing with my ex)

as delicious_torment said, we are all human and we have human emotions.

Take the 'D/s' aspect out of this for a minute and think about this just from a relationship pov. You'll realize that you never truly get over the last person you were with until you fall for someone else and, in a way, no one ever gets over their 'first'.

In my personal opinion, and experience, I'm not saying this is actually the case, but if you still have these sorts of 'it's wrong' feelings because you still feel like you are 'cheating', in a sense, on the person you are no longer with, then you aren't truly over them yet.

You need more time perhaps, or maybe this person isn't for you right now.

Bringing D/s back into it, if you are getting back into the scene now, I'd say you shouldn't back off at all. Go to munches, play parties etc. and watch and socialize... you don't HAVE to play.

It took me 2 years to completely get over my last Dom... and it didn't happen until I found my current one. Don't go out there looking for someone new, that never works, just go out and look for friends and a good time, then someone will land in your lap and these (perfectly normal) feelings you have for your old Dom will disappear.