Internet relationship: blessing or torment?

[HisKitty]

My Master and I started our relationship online... then we met IRL and eventually hope to move in together (playing in the parents' houses = way less fun >_>) We're both in school now, but we have webcams and are online frequently. Also, phonesex is so hot xD There's really nothing like hearing someone orgasm in your ear

[hopperboo]

Torment.

I had people that lied to me when I first started learning about this online.

I mean a big lie. Huge. And it's help shape a lot of what I feel about the relationships of mine and others within this 'lifestyle.'

The only reason I am still online and conversing with people online is because I am not giving a part of myself.... And if I ever get a more serious conversation going they HAVE to have a cam.

[fetishdj]

How can it be torment, if you've never had it? you have nothing to compare it to, and everything to look forward to!

Not everyone who is doing online is entirely a BDSM virgin when they start out online. There are many who have had physical relationships in the past and simply need to do *something* until they find someone willing to be their physical partner. Others travel frequently to visit their o/l partners. The seperation may not have been due to starting out in different cities. It could be that both parties have jobs but one job moves to a different city and so there is a period of seperation while the other one tries to find a new job to move to them. Its one of those things that couples often have to deal with in this modern day and the price we have to unfortunately pay for equality of genders.

[Rowen]

You certainly have a point there.. knowing the tase can make it harder to know it is there yet out of reach.

[Flaming_Redhead]

Online relationships are both a blessing and a curse. When I first started exploring the lifestyle, I began online. I was able to experiment in the safety of my own home. However, it only whet my appetite for more. The frustration of never being able to meet in real life due to distance combined with the very real emotions that developed was too high a price for me to pay. I grew tired of online doms who disappeared when they ran out of things to do. I was especially tired of sitting at home alone instead of actually meeting people. I was sitting at home alone because I refused to date vanilla men anymore. I finally got the courage to join a BDSM dating site. My first real life D/s relationship lasted a year. I have since met another from the same site, and we're making plans for the future.

Online served a purpose, but I'm done with it. It truly pales in comparison to real life where I've experienced rope bondage, suspension, blindfolds, nipple torture, pussy whipping, breath play, humiliation, cropping, caning, spanking, trampling, flogging, boot worship, servitude, figging, the local community at play, and swinger/fetish parties. I'm now a full-fledged dungeon membership card carrying pervert, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way!

[Rowen]

Online relationships are both a blessing and a curse. When I first started exploring the lifestyle, I began online. I was able to experiment in the safety of my own home. However, it only whet my appetite for more. The frustration of never being able to meet in real life due to distance combined with the very real emotions that developed was too high a price for me to pay. I grew tired of online doms who disappeared when they ran out of things to do. I was especially tired of sitting at home alone instead of actually meeting people. I was sitting at home alone because I refused to date vanilla men anymore. I finally got the courage to join a BDSM dating site. My first real life D/s relationship lasted a year. I have since met another from the same site, and we're making plans for the future.

Online served a purpose, but I'm done with it. It truly pales in comparison to real life where I've experienced rope bondage, suspension, blindfolds, nipple torture, pussy whipping, breath play, humiliation, cropping, caning, spanking, trampling, flogging, boot worship, servitude, figging, the local community at play, and swinger/fetish parties. I'm now a full-fledged dungeon membership card carrying pervert, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way!

Looks like the internet was in fact very helpfull for you and helped you to find your way in real life. And that makes it a blessing after all, IMHO

[fantazmaster]

Ah yes and as my experience tells me ,online relationships without real life contact, generally last about 90 days.

[Rowen]

Ah yes and as my experience tells me ,online relationships without real life contact, generally last about 90 days.

There is that possibily.. and perhaps some famous long lasting online relationship are exceptions proving this rule?

[twilight(Whippett)]

Ah yes and as my experience tells me ,online relationships without real life contact, generally last about 90 days.

In my experience depending on the people involved online relationships without rl contact can last more than 90 days- I had one that lasted over a year.

[passenger]

You might be not too emotional.

Or being a macho guy or a cruel emotionless bitch, not caring about those "commitment" things at all.

But spend some nice time with someone online 5-6 times, like it or not, you will get involved, emotions will start to sparkle between you two, you will start to feel something for that living being on the other side. You will start to care about that person.

And in the end - you might get hurt ... or hurt someone and feel sorry. Feel guilty. Feel like you betrayed someone that might have loved you. Just like in a real-life relationship.

It's amazing. Despite you try to convince yourself: come on, it's only online. Well, online matters too.

Because, like it or not - you are in a kind of relationship. Face it!

[Rowen]

In my experience depending on the people involved online relationships without rl contact can last more than 90 days- I had one that lasted over a year.

You might be not too emotional.

Or being a macho guy or a cruel emotionless bitch, not caring about those "commitment" things at all.

But spend some nice time with someone online 5-6 times, like it or not, you will get involved, emotions will start to sparkle between you two, you will start to feel something for that living being on the other side. You will start to care about that person.

And in the end - you might get hurt ... or hurt someone and feel sorry. Feel guilty. Feel like you betrayed someone that might have loved you. Just like in a real-life relationship.

It's amazing. Despite you try to convince yourself: come on, it's only online. Well, online matters too.

Because, like it or not - you are in a kind of relationship. Face it!

Perhaps this is what you both are telling?
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...731#post696731

[xXfuckdollXx]

the only good part is that it's easy to meet people online. other than that, i don't care for online relationships. i have tried a few times, and tried to put effort and commit to it and always felt like something was missing.

[shayna{L_D}]

my frist online relationship was one that was good and bad. More bad then good. My love for him was real, and his love for me was real. When we stated talking it was like i was talking to a best friend, it felt like magic to me, it was wonderful, life changing even. But then again, it is easier to get your feelings hurt when you invest emotions into someone online.


Him and i broke it off in early August, and i am still heartbroken/hurt/scarred/and deeply in love with this person, thankfully for me he has in some ways dissapeared so we canot have contact anymore.

I dont think i would rule out another o/l relationship, but i know next time (if there is a next time) i will be more cautious and i will never find someone like him again, i know that but maybe ill find someone better, or someone that'll treat me better.

Who knows i may find someone in real time

[shayna{L_D}]

[bip0lar]

heh. i've asked myself that, i'm happy to see this topic here. Online relationships, for me at least, are a bitch--especially when one already has the predisposition to attach to others quite quickly. It's like logic clashes with emotions. [which isn't a first, i know]
I mean, one knows that the chances for anything happening real life are very very slim, and being 'clingy' is much harsher from an online point of view--let alone lack of touch, taste, smell. The internet, my head tells me, isn't the place to get what i'm missing. [But tell that to the emotions that have formed ties not easily severed with people i've come to care for. heh]

[moco]

found this very interesting thought maybe could talk about it again