Quote Originally Posted by skittish doe View Post
If this were within a kiss, for example, I would begin to initiate the return kisses and even aggressively kiss him back. If he were also holding me against the wall, I would push back from the wall. Instead of the kiss being all about him devouring me (which I do love) I begin to devour him back. If he wanted me to remain up against the wall (which, again, I do love) then my actions make it necessary for him to exert more energy to keep me there. I am concerned to discover this conclusion within myself, because I would not want to top from the bottom. I think perhaps where my concern comes from is the fact that I am the one to initiate the "ratchet up" of our passion, instead of allowing him the control of the pace.

If my behavior happened within sex, to give another example, I tend to push back (once I get to a certain arousal point)... as opposed to being submissively compliant. Hmm I am unsure if I am explaining myself well or not. I “take what I need” as opposed to allowing him to give it to me (or not).

In an attempt to define this internal point that I reach just prior to this behavior I will say that my need reaches a level that I tremble with it. Something in me takes over and that something is more aggressive, less submissive. I hope someone understands what I am trying to say.
You are explaining just fine hun, well I know exactly what you mean anyway lol. I do it too.

Sometimes I like to push a little but only because I get so turned on by him stepping it up a level, my submission is always there but at times I will resist, although I know it's futile because he will get rougher and of course I love it and then my submission is greater.