As we all know, women are beautiful creatures to be admired and worshipped for their perfect bodies. Men, on the other hand, are ugly and hairy and should not be seen in the light of day.

Frankly, if god does exist (and if he does, could someone get me his phone number? I lost it in my last new phone change over), he's more like a negligent landlord who moves the tenants in and buggers off - refusing to answer the phone when they call to complain about the dwindling power supply, the faulty weather, the hole in the atmosphere that needs patching with new ozone and all the morons who misunderstand everything he told them about the original lease (the one chiselled in stone) and its later amendments (the ones written on papyrus).