Everything in this scene was SSC. We both had a great time and would definately do it again!


November 29, 2009

Sire and i have been together for about 8 months. When we scene it generally gets harder than a lot of people are comfortable with. However when Sire asks if it was too much or if He could have pushed me farther the answer is always that He could have gone harder. i've never felt like i have reached my limit.......until last night.

We went to a local play party last night. It was a closed party, by invite only, and the only restrictions placed on the attendees were nothing illegal allowed.

We just visited for a while, catching up with old friends, making new acquaintances. Sire was wearing a leather thong, chaps, boots, and a bow tie. i was looking hot (His words not mine) in a leather strappy bra, black thong, gorgeous black and blue long line corset and knee high black fuck me boots.

You have to bear in mind that I experienced more pain that night than i’ve ever endured before, so the details are a little fuzzy, and there is most likely gaps in my memory. i think we played for about an hour, but i could be off on that estimation.

When Sire decided He was ready to play He stripped me down to just my boots and collar, tied me to a cross, and placed nipple clamps on me with the chain on the clamps going around the cross so that i couldn't move much without hurting myself. He leaned against me from behind, running His hands up and down my out stretched arms and sides, and told me that He was going to show me how much He loved me with pain. That the more it hurts the more He loves me. He made sure i was clear on that. Then He stepped back and got started, even the warm up was harder than usual. Almost as painful as our play normally gets at it's peak. This consisted mostly of Him smacking my body with His open hands all along my back and sides from my shoulders to my knees. i had to focus on my breathing right away. There is usually a time at the beginning of our play where i am thinking how much i like it. This was different. It wasn’t so much enjoying as it was enduring right from the start.

Then Sire started taking things out of the toy bag. i really couldn't tell you what order they were used in. Some things i recognized by feel, others i didn’t. The first whack surprised me with its intensity and had me crying out in pain. After beating on me for a while Sire removed the clamps quickly, which if you've ever worn them you know that just causes more pain. Then He pulled my hips back and started fucking me really hard. i was so wet at that point that He had no trouble sliding inside me. He fucked me for a few minutes and then He grabbed my hair and shoved me back against the cross. He said that every time He did this i started crying even harder, like i was thinking oh hell He's going to start beating me again. i really wasn't thinking anything at that pint, but it's possible that's what my body was feeling and responding to. One after another i felt the impact of floggers, paddles, and canes. i remember screaming so loudly, thinking that i wanted Him to stop yet i did not say it out loud because there was a part of me that wanted to keep going. Time after time He pulled me away from the cross, my arms would stretch tight against my bonds, my shoulders would feel as if they were going to be pulled out of their sockets as He fucked me, jerking me against my restraints. i was crying loudly, the tears streaming down my cheeks. When He would shove me back against the cross i remember being relieved that the pressure was taken off my arms, only to immediately feel dread because the beating was starting again. Just as when He would pull me away from the cross i would be relieved that the beating had stopped only to realize that the pain was just being shifted to my arms again. After a while He told me that He was going to push me to my limit and that when i don't think i can take anymore then i am to beg Him to cum in me. The thing is, when He told me that i was already thinking i couldn't take any more. i screamed through every bit of pain He was giving me. As loud as it must have been to the people around us, it seemed even louder in my own head. i couldn’t stand still. my feet were constantly shifting, moving, I wanted to try to move away but there was no where to go. The next time that He started fucking me i asked Him to cum in me. This surprised Him because He didn’t think i would say it so soon after He told me i could. He had been saving His favorite cane for last and wanted me to feel it. He pushed me back against the cross and told me that was pathetic and He didn't believe that i really wanted it. Then He laid into me with a few more canes. i was really screaming, crying hysterically, and begging Him to stop, that time when He started fucking me i was begging Him to cum in me, and begging Him to please just stop. Over and over i begged Him for both of these things. My ability to have any coherent thought was gone. i cried and begged until at last He was done.

He gently moved me back against the cross so He could untie me. i really don’t remember much at this point. i remember nearly falling when He pulled me off the cross. i remember being held in His strong arms and slowly lowered to the blanket. i remember being held across His lap, His gentle words in my ear, His gentle hands on my skin. My body shook with the intensity of my crying. There could have been a hundred people around us and i wouldn’t have known. All i was aware of was the comfort i was getting from being held against Sire’s body. Nothing else mattered. Once the endorphin rush passed i just lay there totally spaced out and feeling like i was on cloud nine.

i have always wanted to know just how far i could go in a scene like this, and i am so glad that we did it. Oddly enough, i do hope we do it again someday.

i really love the scenes that push me, whether it is emotionally or physically. i have to say, that was one of our best scenes yet, for me at least. Made even better by the knowledge that other people were watching us. Today i am covered in bruises and can barley drum up the energy to walk, but i guess that's what happens when a true sadist and a true masochist come together.